Last month I had one of my regular routine appointments with my orthodontist, these appointments have become something, which I no longer fear yet become anxious about. I don't like going to the dentist nor do I like the different tools etc. which they have and I do have certain anxieties regarding any dental treatment as a result of a previous incident so while I was anxious about my last dental appointment I was somewhat more anxious then usual about this one. This appointment was due to be a positive appointment, get a brace put back on, my elastic changed, new wires put in and to be told I am ready to meet with the surgeon to plan my jaw operation but as you might have guessed things didn't go according to plan.
I arrived at the dentist with my dad and this time I was excited because I was almost certain I was ready for surgery, my wounds from my wisdom teeth removal had healed, the gap between my bottom and top jaw had increased as planned and my teeth are looking pretty good! I was excited about this appointment and feeling pretty positive and these feelings of positivity and excitement lasted until I sat in the dentist chair, a chair which despite sitting in many times before have never got used to, it was at this moment when I put on the sunglasses, rested my head back, the chair was put into a laying position and I opened my mouth that due to the length of time the dentist spent looking and measuring something wasn't quiet right. Now threes nothing wrong but from her reaction I could tell she was going to be sending me home upset and fighting back tears. She told me I wasn't ready for surgery, that she couldn't put on the brace I need, that I'm not ready for my final wire change and that I have at least another two appointments before I would be ready to meet with the man who will change my life forever. With a gap struggling to close and impressions waiting to be done and not to mention the nice long list of names ahead of mine for surgery my hopes of having my jaw fixed before January came crashing down.
Disappointment is one way to describe it; this is now the second time I have been told my operation is not going to happen for some time. At the beginning of the year I was delighted to hear it would be happening sometime during the summer months, perfect I thought until I was told otherwise, that wasn't too much of a blow to be honest because I was told it would happen before the end of the year, so I sucked it up, put on a smile and said great. This time I haven't been told when it might happen, not even a rough guess, nothing. So I left the hospital that day crying, upset and angry. I was told around the age of 11 that I would need to get surgery to fix my jaw but nothing could be done until I had stopped growing, I've been waiting for this operation since I was 11 years of age, I'm almost 20 years old and I still don't know when it is going to happen.
People say to me "you're fine the way you are, you don't need surgery" they say "its not the end of the world" or "get over it, you've waited this long another while won't make a difference" but they don't understand and how can they if they have never gone through this before. I've done my research, I'm ready for this operation, I know what’s involved, I can even point out where the metal plates will be going, I'm prepared mentally and almost physically, I'm ready to get it over and done with but what’s more is that I am ready to embark on a journey that will change my life. I can see some of you looking at the screen now saying "get over yourself Siobhán its not like an operation on your jaw is going to change your life" but it is, it really and truly is. While you may not believe it the thing is this operation has the power to work wonders in more ways that you can imagine, improve my eating, how I look, my speech, put an end to the headaches and jaw pain and most importantly it will finally help me to build my confidence, not worry about getting in a photo or what people might think. To explain how this operation is going to benefit me I need a blog post in itself so for the time being I’m going to leave it there, do a bit of research, find out the ways in which an under bite can affect a person physically and mentally and what this operation means to a person who has suffered from a under bite for most of their life, if not all of their life!!