Taste the rainbow....

Today I got up bright and early...... well not quiet early enough though when you’re on your summer holidays. I headed off into town with the girls to do a bit of shopping. Well I didn’t really do any shopping to be honest I just followed along with Ashling. I think the fact that because I was on crutches meant that I couldn’t keep up with anybody other than Ashling who kindly stayed back with me. Whenever you go anywhere with my friends we usually end up making a fool of ourselves. It goes without saying that when Ashling jumped off a stairs looking like a moose that as the first time today that we made a fool of ourselves.

From trying to get up the stairs on crutches and down escalators today turned into an interesting day.

After everything that we done today I was surprised that I would find this blog post so hard to write. Since I have finished T.Y I have found it very hard to bog. Maybe it the transition from blogging about school to blogging about everything I really don’t know. I was hoping and well I guess I thought that it would be easy to blog over the summer but I found that I was wrong. I’m worried that I might say things without realising it and then my friends getting mad or upset at me or that I might bore some of the people that read my blog all though I think the only people that read my blog were people from school and T.Y so now that I’m finished for the summer I don’t think many people are going to be reading my blog.

Since I have started blogging and to be honest I never even thought of keeping a blog before I started T.Y sure I never really knew what a blog was until I was told that I had to keep one recording all of the different things that I do in T.Y for the year. I really didn’t want to keep a blog the thought of having to write on the internet twice a week telling people what I was doing in school was a bit annoying and lot of work in the beginning to me. But I soon found myself addicted you could say. I had to blog about everything and blog at least once a day. I am glad that I started blogging and I am delighted that i have achieved so much to do with my blog in under a year. I am glad Mrs L decided to get the T.Y’s to start a blog and I think that all of the T.Y’s should keep a blog rather than a journal of excellence.

I enjoy blogger there’s no doubt about that and finding the time to blog isn’t a probe but it’s trying to find something to blog that people will enjoy reading about. Like I started writing this post about a trip into town that I had and after writing a few lines I realised that people are not interested in what me and my friends do yeah maybe a section of a blog post about what we do but not a whole blog post. Maybe a day trip to Wexford people might be interested in or something like that but not a shopping day in town. I want to tell people about the fun and interesting thing that I do with my friends but I dint know how to write it so that it will catch people’s attention rather than just telling people what I do.

I read some blogs and I wonder how the people who write them think of the things to write about. Some are sharing experiences and giving advice while others are looking at something important and highlighting the good and the bad things about that issue, like a debate. Some of the blogs that I enjoy reading are La vie en RossTrust Tommy, and Love.Hope.Music. I like how all of these blogs are written and i think that they are very interesting to read and gives you a good insight into what the writer is thinking and their opinion on different things.

To be honest I dont really know what this blog post as all about, I started off describing my day and then began to talk about blogging and going on a bit of a rambling session. I am open to suggestions about different things that I could blog about but from now on Im going to blog about random things and more than likely the first thing that pops into my head.

Photo of the day. :)

Self-harm emergency kit.

The other day I was doing some work on learning how to cope with my self harm and one of the things I learned that would be useful for me is to make a self harm emergency kit. This kit would have things that you feel that could help you when you are feeling very low and you are struggling with the urges to self harm. This box could be big or small and have as much things or as little things in it that you want. You can even be able to bring it around with you if you feel like it will help you.

The things that I would like to have in my self harm emergency kit are:

Photos of me and my friends.
Photos of my mam and grandad.
Photos of me and my family.
Some nice sented candles.
A stress ball.
A rubber band.
Some soft fabric.
A pen and some paper.

Im sure as I think of it more and more I might add some more things to my list but right now I am happy with all of the things that I can put in my emergebncy kit because I feel that if I was struggling with my urges things like looking at photos might help me to remember some happy times in my life and they would also me a ver good distraction for me to help take my mind off things.

For anybody who is struggling with self harm it would be a good idea to make a self harm emergency kit well at least I think it would be. Im going to be doing a lot more work on things like distraction so if I come across anymore usefull things I will write about them here so they this blog might hopefully act as a resource for someone who is going throught a very diffcult and who is struggling with self har. And rememeber it is nothing to be ashamexd about and you should not be embarrsed to ask for help. Nobody wants to self harm no matter how much they say they do somewhaere deep deep down inside they know that they really need to stop but they just need a bit of help along the way.

If anybody has any sugesstions of things they would like to see here on my blog just send me an email and I will try and write about them and also feel free to send me an email anytime you want to if you feel like having a chat... Im always here if people need me. siobhanbrady4@hotmail.com

And remember stay strong and things will get better.

Photo of the day. :)

You are never alone!!

 Many people feel like they are all alone in the worldespecially when it comes to mental health diffculties. Many people feel like they are all alone which is why I decided to use this picture when really there is always someone there for you no matter what us going on you just have to try and find that one person who will do anything for you and will never let you down.

 You are never alone!!!!

Photo of the day. :)

My Knight in Shining armour.

I blogged about my granddad before and well I wanted to blog about him again. My granddad was a wise man he was like a book of knowledge and he had a story for everything. Every day we heard a new story or the same story as before but with something that he forgot to tell us about. Right up until the day that he died he was telling us stories. Not many people really live their life but I can assure that my granddad lived his life to the full. He has done everything..... He traveled to lots of different countries, owned a shop, became a knight, set up the order of Malta in Celbridge he became an honorary Carmelite and so much more.

I think that it’s safe to say that my granddad will defiantly be remembered and not just by family members but by everybody who had the pleasure of meeting my granddad. He will be missed on the annual Carmelite pilgrimages to Lourdes and by the friends that he made when he went to Cork to train with his guide dog. He will be remembered by all of the other knights of Malta and by other members of the Order of Malta. He will be remembered by his neighbours and friends but mostly by his family. He was well know sure in art class one day I was getting help from my art teacher and when he was finished he began to ask me about my granddad and this was all because of the shop that he owned.

I have built up a lifetime of memories with my granddad and they are the most precious things to me, nobody will ever be able to take them away from me and well I guess I want to share them with the people who read my blog. I find it hard to talk about my granddad but not to blog it just flows out of me like a river flows downhill.

One of the best memories that I have is from about four years ago during the summer when we went on holidays to Florida. There was a big group of us going I think there was nine of us in total and my granddad was one of them. For most of that holiday I spent most of my time with my granddad because I didn’t like going on rollercoaster’s and none of us thought it would be the best thing he went on them so in the theme parks we would stay together me and my granddad. One day when we decided that we wouldn’t do anything and just hang around the house that we had rented me, Shane, Paul and Amy were in the pool. We kept jumping in and my granddad was sitting at the table beside the pool and he kept getting splashed. He didn’t get annoyed and anytime he went to give out to us he just started laughing.

He eventually go up and picked up a long foam thing that you use in the pool to float and started to hit the water in the hopes of hitting one of us. But he didn’t work, he was going blind so he couldn’t really see us but we had great fun laughing at him and I know that might sound me but he always laughed at himself too. He never let losing his sight effect the quality of his life; sure the week before he died he played a game of pool with me and won with no help from anybody else. He always saw the good side of things never the bad.

I look up to my granddad; he was kind warm hearted, looking, giving, fun and happy. He inspires me and I always try my best to make him proud. I know that he might not be here with me now but he is up in heaven somewhere with my mam and granny looking down on me watching out for me keeping me safe and for that I say thanks.

I always have my granddad with me; after he died I was given his hat... to most people that would mean nothing but to me it means everything. My granddad had a panama jack hat and he wore it everywhere. When he would come up to our house on Wednesdays or any other days I would always take his hat and hide it or I would wear it around the house. It was our little thing.... the hat I think that it brought the two of us close... to me that hat symbolises my granddad. It’s like when my mam died I was given her first ever teddy bear to most people it would just be an old tatty ripped teddy but to me it symbolises my mam.I will never forget how my granddad would smile and say “I bet you didn’t know I could do that” when he would surprise you with something that he did. Sure the week before he died that’s what he said to us after he bet me in a game of pool.

I had many names for my granddad and he had many names for me. I was his shove-over, his vampire and his whippersnapper. He was my gaga, my jellyfish and my grumpy. He meant the world to me and helped to fill a hole that was left after my mam died but after he died a bigger hole in my life was created. I miss my granddad and always will but I will never forget all of the amazing times that we shared together. 

A blast from the past!!!!

This week I am going to be re posting some of my best blog posts since the start of my blogging. There will be one a day or more and I hope you enjoy them :)

Photo of the day. :)

Photo of the day. :)

Camp America.

Are you looking for some adventure? Do you want to go out and experience new things well then Camp America is the ting for you. During the summer while I was searching the internet I cam across a website for Camp America. After doing some research and reading up some information about all the different activities and things people get up to on Camper America I decided that I would give it ago and apply to go after my leaving cert. I have not finished my application and I still have to write my personal essay but I came across something in the application that took me back and got me thinking about not applying.

When it came to filling in questions about your background and medical history I was shocked when I read some of the questions. I completely understand that the people who are organising camp America must ensure that they have hired the correct people for the job and who they know will be safe when working with young children. Now I consider myself an honest person and I wouldn’t even think about answering untruthfully to any of the questions asked on the application form so when I was asked if I have a mental illness I answered yes, when I was asked have I ever self-harm I answered yes, When I was asked have I ever attempted suicide I answered yes and when I was asked have I an behavioural problems such as OCD I answered yes.

I am not completely sure why all of these questions had to be asked but I answered them honesty. The questions are not going to stop me from completing my application the reason I haven’t finished it is because I haven’t had the time but I have set some time aside to finish it during the week. The main problem I have about the application asking those questions are when I was looking up some information I found this on the website:

“Due to the nature of the programme there are some medical conditions that cannot be accepted. Camp America has 40 years experience of sending young people to summer camps. During this time we have developed considerable experience and expertise in determining which medical conditions are appropriate for the camp environment and which are not. At all times we seek to put the health and welfare of our participants and the children in their care first.
We will always try to be fair and to judge each case on its merits but there are some medical conditions that are made much worse in the excitement of summer camps and there are other conditions, which are regarded more seriously in the United States than in Europe or other countries, and for which it is consequently impossible for us to obtain insurance coverage. There are some conditions and disabilities, which completely rule people out of consideration. There are others, which depend upon the amount of time that has elapsed since an event or upon the severity of the original condition. For example, people with a recent history of depression will not be allowed to apply for the programme.
We apologise if some of our terms seem harsh however, our policy is based on experience and we believe it is better to make such policies explicit and not to disappoint people late in the application process. Please be aware anyone who is dishonest on their forms will find themselves cancelled from the programme.”

For me anyway what I did in the past is all in the past now, my depression is under control so why should that affect me now. It hurt me to see that because I have depression there is a good chance that I will not get selected for the programme but it’s not going to stop me because My MENTAL ILLNESS DOESNT DEFINE ME!!

What do you think of what Camp America is saying about people with medical conditions?

Photo of the day. :)

Photo of the day. :)

Studying abroad.

Have you ever thought about going to school in another country? Well you can, there is so many different colleges and courses in different countries. You have the choice to broaden your horizons. You never know what might be on offer in other countries for example you can study criminal psychology in England but not in Ireland. There are so many different benefits of studying abroad. It will be a once in a lifetime experience and you can get so much out of it.

Here are some of the websites in which you can learn more about studying abroad:

Photo of the day. :)

Little known ways to brighten up your day.

Here are some ways that you can brighten up your day if your feeling a bit low.

Take time to yourself. Do something that you like. Think about yourself, listen to music. Just have time to yourself. For me I listen to music. Go for a walk, clear your mind, forget about your worries just relax. Breath.

Read a child's book. They are usually happy and are guaranteed to make you smile. Read a Dr Susses book  they are usually the best when it comes to needing a smile. Oh the places you will go has to be my favorite book, both inspirational and happy. Its a real feel good book :)

Bake some brownies. Baking is one of the best things that you can do when you feel like nothing. The best way to get motivated about baking is knowing that at the end of it all you have some nice chocolate brownies at the end. I mean what is a better way to brighten up your day. Go and buy some ice cream and then it will make your day even better. Ice cream and brownies especially after a long hard day of school. I guess I know what Im having after school :)

Buy flowers. I love flowers that are bright and colourful. If you want something to make you smile then flowers are the right thing to do. They are bright and you want to brighten up your day.... think about it. its simple maths bright flowers equal a brightened up day.

Sing in the shower. It doesn't have to be in the shower but it can be if you want. Just sing to your hearts content. Its not the x-factor so it doesn't matter if your good or bad. Just sing and sure dance too. Let your hair down and even whip your hair back and forth. Just let loose and sing your lungs out.

Find someone to hug. There is nothing better tan an amazing hug for someone that you love.Just hold them tight and dont think about anything.

Ice-Cream and movies. Get a blanket, a friend, the movie beaches and some Ben and Jerry ice cream. I dont think that needs anymore explaining :)

The last thing that you should do to brighten up your day is sit and watch people try and sing on the x-factor. That is guaranteed to make you smile and feel good :)


What has blogging done for me?

Well I’m not sure if many people know how much my blog means to me. I don’t know what I would do without it. It seems a bit silly saying this but my blog is my life. It has helped me through the hardest times of my life and I am sure it will continue to help me far into the future. My blog is a place where I can go and share my experience; get all the crazy thoughts I have in my head out but in a good way. My experiences are on my blog for a reason, not to get page views or to win awards but to help others and show people that there is always hope.

I guess in a way blogging has let me come to terms with my mental illness and it has also helped me to being to recover. I mean many people don’t think that something such as a blog has the power to do something like that but it does and it has for me. I am not going to lie; it was amazing when I won the blog award in 2011. It was an unforgettable feeling but that is not the best thing that blogging has done for me. Helping me to get through hard times in my life is what my blog has done for me.

Blogging has also shown me that I am not as bad as I think I am at writing. So that is always an added bonus. So if you write a blog about anything, think about what it has done for you.

Live a creative life.

Suicide prevention day.

Today marks suicide prevention day. Thinking about it now I am glad that my suicide attempts were only attempts. I understand how people are feeling when they get to the point of considering suicide. I know everybody has different reasons for feeling the way they do but I understand the feeling of hopelessness, despair, being fed up and just wanting a way out but suicide is not the answer. There is always hope and there is always a way out f horrible times. All you have to do is talk and reach for help things will get better no matter what you think, things can always get better.

There are so many different organisations not only around Ireland but around the world working together to prevent at least one person a day from taking their own life. The work that they do is amazing. Thinking about it there is not much that I can say to describe there work that they do other than amazing, incredible and inspiring.

The most important thing that you can do is talk to someone if you are feeling like you want to end it all. Believe me I have been there and I wish I didn’t try to take my own life but I can’t go back in time and I have to live with the scars for the rest of my life. Talk to anyone, a parent, a friend a sibling or even a teacher. Sure email me at siobhanbrady4@hotmail.com if you need to talk to some who knows what you’re going through. I know that there is a reason to live. I am still battling against my depression. But I am not going to let it get me down again. I am not going to let it take over my life and you shouldn’t either.

In honour of all those people who died from suicide light a candle at 8pm tonight and place it near a window.

Photo of the day. :)

3 books on my reading list.... my invisible reading list.

So I  have been thinking about making a reading list so im going to start here. Im going to turn my invisible reading list into a visible list. Be aware that I am making this up as I go along, but I am hoping to read these books eventually.

Book Number One: The Book of Awesome.

"Sometimes it's easy to forget the things that make us smile. With a 24/7 news cycle reporting that the polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes are swirling in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze, it's tempting to feel that the world is falling apart. But awesome things are all around us-sometimes we just need someone to point them out. 

The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free (yes, your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observations from award- winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. 

The Book of Awesome reminds us of all the little things that we often overlook but that make us smile. With touching, warm, and funny observations, each entry ends with the big booming feeling you'll get when you read through them: AWESOME!"

Book Number Two: The Power of Now.

"The Power of Now is another one of those books that causes a complete mind-shift. Most people (myself included) spend most of their time either reminiscing about the past or worrying or dreaming about the future, while letting the present moment pass them by.
The only time that we actually live in, make decisions in and can feel emotions in is right now, the present moment. Those moments where you feel totally alive, those are all in the present moment.
The secrets and principles of this book can actually cause you to enjoy your life a whole lot more."

Book Number Three:Dont you dare read this Mrs Dunphrey.

"Everyone has to keep a journal in Mrs. Dunphrey's English class, but the teacher has promised she won't read any entry marked "Do not read this." It's the kind of assignment Tish Bonner, one of the girls with big hair who sit in the back row, usually wouldn't take very seriously. But right now, Tish desperately needs someone to talk to, even if it's only a notebook she doesn't dare let anyone read.As Tish's life spins out of control, the entries in her journal become more and more private...and dangerous. Is she risking everything that matters to her by putting the truth on paper? And is she risking more by keeping silent?"


Panic Disorder.

"Tightness in my chest

I cant breath.
The only time I can escape
is when I fall asleep.

Constant nausea
constant fear.
How did this happen
knowing I'm safe here?

It's a constant worry
another will strike.
I worry about it all the time
it makes me lose my appetite.

My sight darkens
my life flashes.
My worries control my thoughts
my heart crashes and burns to ashes.

You have no idea what its like
to live one day in my shoes.
Maybe if you did
you wouldn't judge me as you do."


Photo of the day. :)

Top ten brain foods.

So as I have just started sixth year many teachers have been stressing the importance of eating well. So i decided that I would take t upon myself to do a bit of investigating to find out what the top ten brain foods are. So today I used the Internet and my home ec book to make my top ten list. You can now call me inspector Brady.... I wish I could be called inspector Gadget but I cant so I'm inspector Brady for the day. After doing some inspecting here is what I found to be the top ten brain foods.

Fish has high concentrations of Omega-3 fatty acids found in most fish. These fatty acids are essential to proper neural function. Most of our brain is made up of fatty tissue, so it makes sense that eating fish and other foods high in fatty acids would help us focus more and learn how to study better.

Like fish, many types of nuts such as almonds and walnuts contain high levels of essential fatty acids that help your brain to perform optimally. As an added benefit, nuts contain a good amount of iron and also provide oxygen to the brain.

Apparently, an apple a day not only keeps the doctor away, but can also help you improve your study habits and academic performance as well.

Dark Chocolate
Not just any variety will do, but a certain type of chocolate – dark chocolate – can feed the brain, not only by improving memory, but also by increasing blood flow to the brain,.

Spinach definitely doesn’t top the list of popular vegetables, but it  is full folic acid and has even been shown to reverse memory loss.

Berries such as blueberries, cherries, black currants, raspberries, cranberries, blackberries, gooseberries, and even grapes have significant health effects directly related to brain function.

"Magic” beans such as chickpeas, kidney beans, and lentils contain  protein which power the brain and make studying a breeze.

It’s a healthy fat that promotes blood flow, keeping your mind functioning at its peak. That’s not all: Avocados have also been shown to reduce blood pressure.

Egg yolks are rich in choline, an essential nutrient to improving memory function.

Broccoli has been shown to improve memory function as well as slow the aging process. This means a broccoli-rich diet will keep you young and sharp.

Inspector Brady's challenge: I have decided that I am going to challenge my self to make my diet better and include some of these foods in order to help me with my concentration an focus for the year that is ahead of me. So if i remember I will post updates on  how I am managing on helping my brain by eating some of the top ten brain foods. Anybody want to join me in the challenge?

Begin by taking small steps.

Photo of the day. :)

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