There's Always Light at the End of the Tunnel

All my life I have been the kind of person to ignore and overlook my achievements but recently I have noticed a change within myself, one that is becoming increasingly more aware of what I have achieved in my life. What brought this on your might ask? Well this coming Thursday I will be graduating from college, that in itself is a huge achievement but for me when I took a closer look at it, it became so much more. 3 years ago I started out on what I thought was going to be the best thing in my life, I had worked hard to get through secondary school, sit my leaving cert and get onto the course I so desperately wanted to be on. 3 years ago I set out for college, anxious and uneasy but feeling like I knew where I was going, feeling like I knew exactly how my life was going to pan out but little did I know that would all change. I started college on the community and youth work course, all ready to become a fully qualified youth worker and do what I love most- work with young pe...

I was diagnosed with BPD when I was around 19, a condition which can only be diagnosed after turning 18 it was clear that it had been fostering within me for many years before hand, side by side with my depression. When I was diagnosed I did the usual googling to find out as much as I could and what I found out only increased my anxieties surrounding my condition! Despite this though it did help, having a name, having something to relate to, its almost like being able to account for the reasons as to why I respond to things in certain ways, it has helped me to understand myself. Although it has contributed to a greater understanding and self-awareness it has not been without its difficulties, dealing with BPD is a daily issue, one that feels like a never ending cycle, almost as if I have been sentenced to a life with BPD. I have good days and I have bad days. I have days where I almost feel like I don’t have BPD, when I a not so sensitive to different things that happen, when I do...

Three years ago I received a letter in the post. Three years ago I was the happiest person on earth. Three years ago I got accepted onto the BA Community and Youth Work Degree in Maynooth University. I had it all planned out, go to college, spend my three years there, get my professional degree and work in the youth sector, little did I know how much the next three years would challenge me, inspire me, motivate me and change me. I made it trough first year, delighted I was well and truly on the path to becoming a qualified youth worker, but then, I didn’t quiet make it through second year. I struggled through my second year placement, a combination of DBT, self-harm and the general day-to-day struggles of BPD made it ever so challenging. I completed my placement, handing in the research task which had been set at the beginning of the three months and having developed relationships with a number of young people I had been engaging with feeling I had achieved something and to be hon...

During my final year of secondary school I work really hard to ensure a spot on the Maynooth University Community and Youth Work course and after personal statements, written assessments, group interviews, individual interviews and achieving the right grades in my leaving cert I was lucky enough to get a spot, 1 of just 40. I was thrilled, over the moon, excited and looking forward to moving onto a new chapter in my life. I thought I had it all figured out, becoming a community and youth worker, get a job, a nice place to live and who knows maybe even move to Boston but of course not everything goes according to plan. I made it through first year of college and had a pretty good placement which I loved every minute of and still today volunteer there, but then, then second year came along. Starting the year with another placement after two weeks preparation in college I struggled a lot to settle in, find a routine and to be honest I didn’t enjoy it all that much. It was a tough place...