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Showing posts from February, 2014

The monster in my life

Dazed and adrift I found myself consumed by the never ending negative thoughts of self-harming. The idea of relief, begin able to breath and finally getting a break from the thoughts in my head are what I wish to achieve but does self-harming really do that? Yes it does, it allows me to relax, to breath and to have a clear head but of course there is always a negative. This relief, this break from my mind and this chance to breath is always short lived as once I begin to be free from my thoughts the urges and thoughts of self-harming come flooding back. There feels like there is no escape, you begin to feel trapped and you are consumed with the idea of the positives which no matter how small self-harm can provide. It breaks you down bit by bit, ensuring you feel worthless, hopeless and isolated. It challenges any positive thoughts which you may have and ensures to capture any hopes you may have for the future and for overcoming your self-harm. It consumes every part of your life, a

Dealing with a mental health issue

Around about four years ago I was diagnosed with depression and since then I have gone through years of treatment including psychotherapy and CBT as well as taking medication every day for almost three years. It took a while for me to come to terms with depression and it was not something, which I came to terms with over night, it took weeks for me to accept that I had depression. It challenged my thoughts, provided me with relief putting a name to my feelings, made me think about life and the way I was living and it made me realize there was a hole other world, the world of mental health. Today I attended my weekly appointment with my community mental health key worker to discuss my new treatment plan. While learning about things they used in order to make my care plan something interesting arose. I was told I DO NOT HAVE DEPRESSION, you night think that I would be reveled that I do not have a mental illness but I was then informed that while not having an illness I have a mental