Photo of the day. :)

Order of Malta.

The order of Malt is something that means a lot to both me and my family. Many members of my family have been part of the Order of Malta and well I am hoping to be the next person to be a member of it. The order of Malta is a voluntarily organisation which provide free first aid services to the community.

 I feel that being a member of this kind of organisation is  great experience and is very worth while and is a good thing to do. The reasons why I want to join are not because I feel I have to because it is important to my family but because I enjoy helping people and I want to be able to give something back to my community and I feel that this is the perfect opportunity to do that. It is something I want to do for me to make me happy. Helping people makes me happy and this is the perfect thing to do to help people.

Would you like to join the Order of Malta?

Photo of the day. :)

Doing things that will make you happy.

When you are struggling and having a hard time it is important to do things that will make you happy. Doing things that make you happy or use to make you happy is very important on your road to recovery. This might seem as a stupid task or that it is very simple to do but when you are struggling and having a hard time it is not as easy as you think that it might be but it is important that you try it.

To help you to do this you should make a list of things that make you happy and things that you enjoy. Things such as watching movies, doing sports, being with friends or going to parties. Put that into a chart and then mark each day that you do each activity. The point of this see how often you do things that make you happy. See if you can increase the number of times you do each thing per week and see if you can increase the enjoyment you get form the activity.

See if you can find a friend or family member that can do these things with you and make it more fun. You wont be on your own then and you will have someone to look back on the good memories you will have from doing these activities. I have tried doing this and it has made a huge difference to me. One of the things I had on my list was blogging. When I got really sick I wouldn't blog anymore but as I began to get on the road to recovery I began to get back to my blogging more and more. I still have my bad days where I don't want to do the things that I enjoy but now they have just become one or two days and not very often. I have come a long way and if you are struggling this is worth a shot. It worked for me and it might work for you too.

Changing emotions.

When I was in hospital I was thought about changing my emotions. This is acting the opposite to what your are feeling. I gave it a try a few times and found that it helped me. You should try it too and it might help you in some times of distress.This is what you have to do.

When feeling Fear.
Do the thing that you are afraid of over and over again.
Do things that give you a sense of control.
Do things that you are good at and do well.
Challenge the fear and it will go away.

When feeling sadness.
Get active and do something don't sit feeling sorry for yourself.
Do things that make you feel good.
Act as if you are happy and in turn you will become happy.
Challenge the sadness and it will go away.

When feeling anger.
Gently avoid the person that you are angry with.
Do something nice that will make you feel good.
Imagine sympathy. ( I dont understand that one myself)
Challenge the anger and it will go away.

When feeling guilty or ashamed.
Repair the mistake, say sorry and do your wrong right.
Then let it go.
Challenge the guilt and it will go away.

Photo of thew day. :)

Things to do when you need to relax.

re some things that you could try and do to help relax when you are stressed. I have tried a few of these and found them to be very helpful. Some of them you may need to do more than once to get use to it so remember what they say.... Practice makes perfect.

Have a bath.
Go for a walk.
Met up with friends.
Lie in the sun.
Eat ice-cream( that's my favorite)
Go for a bike ride.
Go for a run.
Go swimming.
Look at old photos.
Fly a kite.
Read a book.
Listen to music.
Watch a movie.
Play with a pet.
Light some candles.

What do you do to help you relax that's not on my list?

Photo of the day. :)

Useful help websites.

Here are some useful websites that you can use when in a time of distress or you just need someone to talk to.

Photo of the day. :)

Animal rights.

The last few religion class that I have had have been all about animal rights and well I was just wondering what you think about this topic. I think that animals do have rights but I fell that they could have more rights than they do. One thing that I thought about was this point: Its ok to end an animals life if they are suffering to put them out of their pain but if you want to help a person die because they are suffering and have been told that they will not live it is against the law. If its not ok to do to humans and we let them suffer why is ok to do to animals? Do you think that animals have rights?

Photo of the day. :)


So a few weeks ago I went to santry with school like every other year and had great fun. I have to say this year I was not so sure if I was going to compete or not because well I did miss four months of school so I wasnt sure if I wanted to miss any more school but I decided that I would go and then head back to school with my dad after I competed. I have to say that I am glad that I went because I did well in competition but also because I love athletics and it took my mind of school work and I was happy doing something I loved. I feel like things have not got back to the way that there were before I was in hospital and I am finally doing all the things I love and that make me happy.

So in Santry I was competing in both senior discus and senior shot put. I was more focused on the discus because I feel most comfortable when I am doing that. I was a bit nervous because i hadn't been competing that much but the nerves soon went away thanks to Kate well that was until I found out my teacher was an official at the discus. Things settled down and I had an amazing first through which become my new personal best and it always was the winning throw of 24.35 meters. I wont even talk about my other throws because well yeah lets just not go there. Kate also won a medal coming third with a throw of over 18 meters so well do Kate.

The next day I was ion Santry I was competing in the shot put and well to be honest with you I was not expecting to place and well I didnt really after I won the discus because I was delighted with myself. I placed in second and I was happy with that as my shot put has been going down hill over the past while and with a throw of 7.74 meters and I delighted with myself. It was a tough competition and I tried my best and all my training paid off so I was happy with how I did.

Our school once again won four trophies for the amount of points that we had got from everybody competing and winning medals. I guess when we girls at woollies set our mind on a gola there is not stopping us. Well done girls for the great job and a huge thank you to Mr L and Ms O'C for all your help and support we wouldn't have been able to do it without you guys!!

Photo of the day. :)

What can you do instead of harming?

On the road to recovery it is important to find other things that you can do instead of hurting yourself. I found that it was a good ideal to write a list of things that I could do so that in times of distress I could go to my list and pick something to do. It may help to do these activities a number of times during the week even if you don’t have an urge to self-harm. That way when you get the urge you will have already been use to doing some of these replacement activities.

One of the things that I found really worked for me was placing my hand in a bowl of ice. I bowl full of ice. It took me a while to start using it because I felt that it was weird. I soon got use to it and now if i am really struggling I will put my hand in a bowl of ice. I would suggest trying that because I have found it to work well and it might work well for you too. It’s painful at the start but it helps relax me. Give it a go and see if it helps you. It’s worth a try.

Some of the other things that you can do instead of hurting yourself include:
Journal writing.
Listening to music.
Getting active do something fun that you enjoy that involves movement.
Go out and do a bit of gardening.
Do a bit of organising or cleaning. (That one also works well with me.)
Talk to some friends, go on the internet, surf the web, make a blog, spend some time on facebook.
Do some homework as long as it doesn’t stress you out.

There are so many different things that you could try. If it doesn’t work the first time give it a few more tries and if one thing doesn’t work there is always another thing. It is important to give this time and don’t give up after the first go. It takes time and practice makes perfect.

Photo of the day. :)

London 2012

Its almost time its almost time for the London 2012 Olympic games. The excitement is building inside me. There is still some time to wait but I am so excited. I cant wait to sit down and watch the best athletes in the world compete in a place so close to Ireland. I have to say it would be even better if I had tickets to go but sure you cant get everything you want. Im happy right now and that's enough  for me I am happy with my life and I am glad that all those times I thought of suicide or attempted suicide that I did not end my life.

Creating a safe place in your mind.

Using images to create a calm place to go to in your mind when you are feeling overwhelmed or you want to harm can help you to beat the feelings and urges. Try to create a safe place in your mind it can be anything that you want or any place that you feel safe in and that you are in control of what is going on. This can be hard to do but with practice it becomes easier to do.  It is important to use as many senses that you can when creating your safe place. The more senses that you use the better you will feel.

My safe place is at my athletic track. Here i feel in control and I am happy here. I imagine the sounds of the coaches talking and the sound of the children laughing and playing. The sound of the older athletes Talk or complain about school or the leaving cert. I feel the wind in my face or the sun on my skin. I fell in control and alive. I feel safe her and I am happy because I am doing something that I love. I can smell the freshly cut grass and the smell of spring. I can feel the weight of the shot put as I begin my throw.

I feel calm here because I know that I am safe here. It has taken me a while to get use to going to my safe place but over the weeks it has got a lot easier. You should try and find your safe place.

Photo of the day. :)

Minding your mental health.

Photo of the day. :)

Darkness into light.

We are getting closer and closer to the annual darkness into light walk. This event gives hope to all those who have been affected by suicide and self-harm. I myself have been affected by self-harm as many of you may know from reading my blog. I would love to take part in the walk but due to scouts I am unable to this year but maybe next year. I will make it my goal for 2013.

the walk was set up by Pieta house and you begin the walk while it is dark and finish while it is bright. Walking from the dark relates to the dark place that many people find themselves in when they are struggling with self-harm and or contemplating suicide. Beginning in the darkness is like beginning on the road to recovery, it begins in a dark place but slowly but surely it becomes bright and brighter. I have had experience with this and I have to say that for me this statement is true!

You can register online for the Dublin, Phoenix Park event online from Monday 14th February , 2011 @ or by post to Pieta House, Lucan Road, Lucan, Co. Dublin.

Photo of the day. :)

Pieta house.

If you are a person who is struggling with self-harm and you feel that you are ready to face it head on and want help a great place to go for help is Pieta House.

"Pieta House, set up in 2006, was the first centre in Ireland that specialised in the prevention of self-harm and suicide. Pieta is an alternative way of helping people in crisis, but it is also a way that encourages collaboration with hospitals and doctors.Before Pieta, people who were suicidal would often end up either in hospital, in a psychiatric unit or heavily medicated - sometimes all three. In many cases, patients were put on 'suicide watch', a procedure that involves the patient being watched by a nurse or carer every moment of every day - even while having showers or using the toilet. In some cases, this was the only way to guarantee the patient's safety - there was no alternative, and whether we liked the practice or not, lives were saved. However, we were convinced that there had to be some other way of helping people who were suicidal."

"Pieta House, The Centre for the Prevention of Self-Harm or Suicide officially opened it’s doors in January 2006. 5 years later, we have seen and helped nearly 4,000 people, and opened up two Outreach Centres, and two other Centres of Excellence in both Dublin and Limerick.About 8 years ago, Joan Freeman, a practising psychologist, closed down her own counselling business and dedicated her time finding out how she could help people who were suicidal – what would be beneficial to them and help them get through their dark time. After three years of research, she opened up Pieta House in Lucan, Co. Dublin which quickly became a respected and recognised service for those who were suicidal. Having counselled many people in the past who were self-harming, Joan realised that this was a topic never discussed and rarely understood, and she decided to also help people with this debilitating issue.In five years, Pieta House has grown to almost 40 therapists and admin staff, and the demand for our service hasn’t let up. In January 2011 we opened up two new Centres – one in Ballyfermot and one in Limerick. As 80% of our income comes from Fundraising Events, we rely heavily on the support and encouragement of our Volunteers and Friends of Pieta."

I would reccomend giving Pieta house a go if you are struggling.

Photo of the day. :)


                                          Aware offers many different services to help and support those suffering from depression and other mental health issues. Aware has a number of education programmes in order to help more people to understand depression. One of the programs they have set up is “Beat the blues” this is a programme set up for secondary school students to teach them about depression. Aware also holds public lectures to inform the public about depression. They also provide support groups for people suffering from depression and also individual sessions. They also provide support groups for the families of those suffering from depression.

                                           the people that benefit from the services provided by aware are people who suffer from depression and other related mental health issues. The families and friends of those who suffer from depression and other related mental health issues also benefit from the services provided. The public benefit from the education programme that they provide.

                                           Aware has been very successful over the past number of years. They have become known all over Ireland. They have been recognised by many different counties all over Ireland for the tremendous work that they do raising awareness and helping people with depression.

                                           Aware has a number of volunteers that run the organisation from day to day. These included people to raise awareness, people to talk to others who are qualified and people who organise fundraising activities.

                                           Their role is to help to create a society where people who suffer from depression and their family and friends are understood and supported. Aware is dedicated to helping people to become free from stigma and also to have access to a range of different helpful treatments to help people who suffer from depression to get the most out of life and to reach their full potential. The aims of the organisation are to inform and educate people about depression. They provide support for people affected by depression and other mental health disorders. Aware is  100% committed to supporting research into the development and treatment of depression and other mental health disorders

Photo of the day. :)

The future.

So I have finally decided what I am going to do when I leave school. I have wanted to be so many different things over the years but this I know I want to do because I just know. I am going to be a paramedic. Yeah I don't have to spend four years studying or have to have a PHD at the end of it but I get to help people. There is courses I have to take and training and exams I have to do but I get to help people. I get to do something that I love. I wont be stuck inside sitting at a desk all day every day I get to be outside. Yeah I know it will be hard and there will be times when I wont be able to help people and I will have top do that but I will be able to help people there will be times where I will be able to make a difference in a persons life and that is what I want to do. I want to help people and that is what I am going to do. I am going to help!!

This has become my dream to become a paramedic, to help people and to be happy doing the job that I want. I don't care about having loads of money just enough so I can pay the bills and have a house enough to support myself and my family and I will be happy. This is what is going to make me happy in the future. Leave my past behind but not forgetting that it is the reason that I am the person that I am today and that it is the reason I will become a paramedic.

Photo of the day. :)


Dreams.... Have you ever wondered what your dreams mean? I have and I still do! Sometimes I don't remember my dreams but other times I do. Some mornings I wake up thinking what was that dream all about and then other mornings I wake up thinking I wish I could go back to that dream.#

I find the concept of dreaming interesting because well how can we learn more about a dream. Nobody can be sure when a person is dreaming or what a person is dreaming. That's just something to think about what do dreams mean?

You are more then a person with a mental illness.

When you are sick with a mental illness or any illness you can often have a low opinion of yourself. I know when I was sick and in hospital I saw myself as a cutter. I was nothing more just a cutter. During my recovery I learned that I was much more than that. Before I got sick I was a different person and I was still that person inside but I just couldn’t see that myself.  I had to think about who I really was. I had to forget that I was in hospital and that I self-harmed because I was not just a cutter I was a person who has a mental illness that doesn’t mean that’s who I am.

I took some time to myself to find out who I am I thought back to before I was sick. I was a kind caring fun person. I had many talents that I would not make public but I knew I had them. I was a hard working and motivated student and you know what I was still that person, I still am that person. I am not crazy or mad I am Siobhán. I am not a cutter I am Siobhán. I am not depressed or anxious I am Siobhán. Yeah I struggling with these things but that do not mean that is who I am. It took me some time to go back to the person I was before I got sick and realise that is who I am.

It involved me being a selfish but if i didn’t be selfish then I would still have a very low opinion of myself. So take some time to yourself. Forget about all the negative things people think of you and focus on the positive. Focus on you. Forget your mental illness or anything that makes you have a low opinion of yourself and look at who you are. You are a person not just someone with a mental lines!!

I am Siobhán, a loving caring fun person. I am a hard working and motivated student. I love school and I love sports. I would be lost if I didn’t have my family and friends around me. I’m a great listener and a very supportive person.

So who are you?

Photo of the day. :)

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