My one good adult



Your one good adult, the one person who you truly trust, who you truly feel comfortable talking to and the one person who you know will not judge you and do whatever possible to help and support you.  In transition year I found my one good adult, I found the person who I could trust and I found the person who  knew would support me through my darkest days. In transition year I found Mrs L, my transition year co-ordination,  a woman who could bring a smile to anybodies face, who made herself available to have chats about everything and anything and someone who I told about my self-harm. Mrs L treated me with respect, she guided me, supported me and helped me to get professional help. Despite not taking her advice at times she stuck by me, helped keep me on the right track and was there with me every step of the way even during the summer holidays!!  

 I never expected Mrs L to be the person I opened up to but she was. Her friendly smile, her fun loving nature, her calm presence (by calm I mean not angry) her supportive nature and overall her positive outlook on life allowed me to open up and confide in her. I began to trust her and when I was in fifth year, contemplating suicide she stood by every step of the way, she supported me, pointed me in the right direction and ensured I was safe. She made sure I knew someone cared, she made sure that I knew people were thinking about me and most importantly she made sure that I knew she was there and she wasn’t going anywhere. She has never let me down and I don’t think she ever will.

Not only has Mrs L been a great source of support but she has also made me realise life is worth living, she has helped me to become aware of all the positives in the world and she has also helped me find a way of coping in a positive way, Mrs L introduced me to blogging, something which has helped me more than any therapist, any behaviour program and any groups. 

Both Mrs L and I have left St. Wolstants CS but we are still in touch and to be honest I would be lost without her. Yeah she knows how to drive me insane, she knows exactly how to wind me up and what buttons to push but I wouldn't have it any other way. One of the best things which has happened to me in my life was developing a relationship with Mrs L because she has been one of most significant people though out my recovery which is still counting. Without a doubt it is this woman who contributed to me still being alive today. So Mrs L because I'm hope you're reading this, Thank You from the bottom of my heart because without you I wouldn't be here today and if it wasn't for your positive outlook on life I, myself would not have developed a positive outlook on life.

Popular posts from this blog

A prisoner of my own mind

A while ago I wrote about a bump in the road that saw me take a step backwards…. That bump is still very much on the road and I am simply coasting along hoping the end is in sight somewhere. But when the end comes I have to ask, how long will it last for? How long will the good times last before we hit another bump? I don’t want this anymore, I no longer want the label I have attached to me, I don’t want borderline personality disorder. When I was first diagnosed I resisted my diagnoses, last year when I got unwell again and found myself re-entering the mental health services and engaging with the community mental health team I had to use every ounce of energy to truly accept my diagnosis and in many ways empower the label and allow it to help me understand myself. That label, which had a positive purpose no longer holds the same status, now it is simply something I do not want, something which has taken over my mind and body, it is something that I need gone, I need it to disappe
Read more

An unexpected week

Last week I went back to work and to say I was scared would be an understatement! On Sunday night I prepared myself as much as I could for what I anticipated to be one of the worst weeks I would experience in work. I expected to be riddled with anxiety to the point where I wouldn’t be able to go to work- I was not. I expected to feel pure panic as I drove to work each day, bordering on a full-blown panic attack- I did not. I expected to cry, each day over something minor, something small, something that wouldn’t have mattered- I did not. I expected to obsess over everything; put more rituals in place to ensure everything was perfect-I did not. I expected to hide the fact that I had been in hospital for my mental health, I expected to allow the shame I was feeling to take control, I expected to shy away from my colleagues during the week, I expected to fight this battle on my own, but I did not. It was a hard week in many ways, it was the first week back, I was sc
Read more

Shame

A week ago I found myself explaining to my therapist how I wanted to end my life, how I was so desperate for my mind to shut off and how I was ready to end it all, in that moment I felt distressed. A week ago I found myself ringing a close friend asking him to collect me from the local health centre because I had to go to hospital and couldn’t trust myself to be left alone, in that moment I felt ashamed. A week ago I found myself ringing my brother in law asking him to bring me to hospital, where I would need to go in order to stay alive, in that moment I felt guilty. A week ago I found myself ringing work to explain that I was being admitted to hospital for my own safety due to my mental health, in that moment I felt embarrassed. A week ago I found myself sitting on a mental health inpatient unit faced with colleagues from my work in pre hospital care working on the unit, in that moment I felt panic. A week ago I found myself fighting to keep myself alive, I found
Read more