Huge day today!! It is one week since my corrective double jaw surgery and I am delighted to announce everything is going very well! my surgeon has loosened my elastics once again giving me a bit more movement, enough to get a tablet in my mouth. He has also described my bite as perfect! Pain is very much under control with no need for pain meds since yesterday morning, bruising is also under control and localised to my under chin and doesn't appear to be worsening. Numbness hasn't improved at all however I have been reassured that it takes time, however I am aware of the possibility that the feeling in some parts of my face may never return but in the grand scheme of things I feel that is a small price to pay! My mood has been great, a few very emotional days in the beginning and no doubt more emotional days to come but I'm letting them happen and not trying to fight it. Overall I have been having a brilliant recovery, there have been rough days and no doubt there will be more to come, I'm expecting a few bumps in the road and if they come then thats ok! Tiredness has begun to catch up with me, its hard to get a full night sleep as I am very uncomfortable but am beginning to go a bit easier on myself and rest a bit more. So far I have had one "was it worth it day" but that has passed and I feel it was worth it, very much so and I actually don't regret getting surgery! Getting used to this new smile is also something that is easier than expected but I am also aware that as of yet I haven't had the full view of my smile and a few weeks/months down the road it might be a bigger adjustment than expected but for now I am really happy. I think one of the hardest things about this whole journey is the liquid diet. I didn't imagine it being as hard as it is but let me tell you its tough! I would kill for some chicken nuggets and chips! There is only so much soups and smoothies a person can handle!! Although as of yesterday I stopped using a straw and am now drinking juices, soups and smoothies from a paper cup without the use of a straw so i feel thats a pretty big achievement also, only last week i was using a syringe, then straws and now I'm managing just fine without. I haven't mastered drinking from a class yet though but I think that could have something to do with the lack of feeling in my lower lip!
While today is a huge day in terms of my jaw surgery it is also a huge day in regards to my mental health, today marks 8 whole months without engaging in self-harming behaviour! 8 months is the longest period of time I have gone without self-harming since it began all those years ago! For the first time in a long time I am feeling very positive about my future, while I don't know where exactly I am heading I feel that there are great things waiting for me and with time who knows what might happen!