My Florida adventure!!

On Sunday the Brady's Florida adventure officially began :)

So on Monday myself and my family made our way bright and early I might add to Walt Disney world. Despite the rain and the thunder and the lighting we had an amazing day!! We arrived around 10am and we did not leave the park until around 11pm needless to say the next day we were all exhausted but still ready for more Disney with a half day spent in Disney's Hollywood studios. We laughed and we cried, well Shane and Amy cried and I screamed on the roller coasters.... Crying at one stage and screaming before we even got on the rock n roller coaster in Hollywood studios but I loved every minute of it.

The weather had been good I guess. Not a lot if sun but it is warm very warm. Yesterday was been the best day so far (we even got burnt!) .... Nice bright, sunny and warm. I am a lover of warm weather but due to my scars I struggle with wearing t-shirts. Yesterday for the first day on this holiday I left the house and did not wear a jumper or any form of long sleeves. This was a huge step for me and I am proud that I did it. I faced people staring at me, people giving me dirty looks and people quietly judging me. I have done this before in Ireland but from my experience of America during this visit and in my past visits unlike Ireland mental health is not talked about here.

While yesterday was the first day that I have left the house in only a Tshirt the days before I have wore long sleeve tops although they have not covered my arms completely. I have been given looks all throughout the holiday when people have seen my arms but today was different. Yesterday my scars were obviously and yesterday my arms were on show.

I have learned to block most of this out. It upsets me to see people looking at me and staring at my arms but part of me knows that they don't know my story so they have no right to judge me and that helps me most of the time. Yesterday something happened which helped me more than anybody can imagine. While I was waking to go on a ride in the line a girl approached me and this girl made a comment that gave me support, a confidence boost and most of all made me feel like I wasn't being judged. This young girl said to me, "I think you are really strong and beautiful" and she then gave me a hug.

I have these scars as a result of a time in my life where I did not know how to cope, when I did not know how to tell people how I was feeling and a time where I was in a dark place. Now I have these scars which are scars, not cuts but scars. They wee once cuts but now they are scars, scars which to me symbolise the pain I went through but also the strength I have had during those dark days. Cutting wasn't a strong thing to do but getting through the rough time and having these scars to remind me that I have made it trough the bad patch in my life is strength to me.

Each day when I choose not to wear a jumper or long sleeves I see people looking at my arms and I see the look of disgust on their faces but then I think to myself, if my family accept me then that's all that matters and they do. 

In the words of my brother Paul "if you cover
 your arms because people are looking then they win" I am not about to let them win, if I want to wear a t-shirt I will. There will be no more hiding thanks to the support of my family and friends!

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