Med reduction, Phase 2

Having recently written a post about my journey to come of my medication I felt that the best way for me to ensure I continue on a positive path is to document this journey and being me and the lover of writing that I am I felt it best to document it on my blog.

Having spent just about three weeks on the lower dose of 150 mg I have been feeling great. The first three-four days of the reduction had me feeling very tired and I was initially experiencing many headaches something which I expected in many ways as I would have reacted in a similar way when my meds were increased some time ago. Despite the rough start and feeling physically crap for the first couple of days it wasn't long before I was fighting fit and back to myself once I had adjusted to 150 mg.

So as a result of this positive reaction to the lower dose, my appetite improves and fining I had a lot more energy at times I decided that while everything is going great and with the support of my GP I would take the next step and reduce my meds even further to 100 mg. Having only recently started on this dose I have had pretty much the same response, having started on Wednesday I think I'm just about over the tiredness and headaches but again I'm expecting maybe one more day of it but after that I reckon I should be doing just fine. With another two weeks or just under two weeks to go on this dose I'm feeling pretty optimistic about coming off my meds and while I know that this time two weeks from now I may not be ready to go down another 50 mg I am hopeful and positive about this new journey which I have embarked on.

I have to say that I have been very surprised by my reaction overall with this medication reduction after all I have been taking them for about 3 years or more so it had become something which was part of my daily routine and was at times the only constant thing in my life. Since I have started my medication reduction I can't recall having any extremely bad days, something which has been really positive and uplifting, I haven't engaged in any acts of self-harm making sure that my time without self-harm is almost reaching 4 whole months and what’s even better is the intrusive thoughts and obsessions regarding self-harm which I would often get are becoming less intrusive and less obsessive something which may or may not be related to my med reduction but is something which I am grateful for all the same.

I am still taking things day by day and it is something which I intend to do not only during my med reduction but for life because at the end of the day there is no point in assuming I'm not going to have bad days, that I'm going to have good days or that I am going to never self-harm again, it is something which I need to do to ensure I continue on my road to recovery so for now and the foreseeable future I am living my life one day at a time. I am aware that I may not be ready to reduce my medication further in the time frame which has been put into place but again it is not soothing I am focusing on or worry about because I am taking my life day by day but having a plan, having something written down that I can look at, having a log of my response to my med reduction to date makes me just that little bit more positive about coming off my meds, something which I have wanted to do for a while now but only now is actually possible.

This journey has shown me one thing; one thing that I always struggled to believe but is something that I now truly believe in and this is that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
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