It's more than a blog


There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, 9 small simple words that have the power to brighten up my day, give me strength to get out of the bed on my darkest days and that give me the courage I need to keep living my life! These 9 little words describe my blog, a place where I have written about some of the hardest things in my life, a place where I have begun documenting my journey to gain the perfect bit and a place despite being virtual that I can be myself and feel comfortable. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel is more than just a blog to me, its more than just a space for me to write things down, There’s always light at the end of the tunnel is my chance to make a difference, share my story and most importantly show people that no matter how bad things are they can and do get better.

I recently got told about an opportunity to take part in a therapy programme to help me deal with my borderline personality disorder, a programme which requires commitment and a positive attitude two things which I give to my blog, a positive attitude, no many how many knows I get from people leaving harsh comments I always get back up and write another post and no matter how bad a day I am having I  always remember my commitment to post and to show people that it really doesn’t matter how bad you're feeling, or how crap your day is =, things do get better.

I began blogging not by choice but because my year co-ordination in transition year told me I had to keep a log of our activities throughout the year. At first I hated the idea, I  really did and what was more is that my writing really sucked back then(I'm not saying its improved a whole lot but it has a bit) As the days went by and more and more things happened in school which I could write about I began loving the idea of having a blog and I loved being introduced to this whole new world, an online world full of inspiration, strong and brave people and it was a world I wanted to be part of. Slowly but surely my blog developed, every I.T class was something I looked forward to, every activity was more fun knowing that I now had this place to share it with the whole world and soon my blog became apart of me. People in my class knew me because of my blogging, Mrs L gave me sweets once because of my blog and my blog helped me to develop an identify for myself and it also allowed me to realise my love and passion for writing!

My blog has been a source of support for me through my most difficult days, it has been this blog that has given me strength to write about my mum, someone not spoken about much since she died, it has allowed me to deal with my mental health issues as well as show others that anything is possible but it is also this blog that has made me proud, it is something I bring up in conversation and it is something which will be with me until the day I die because this blog is more than just a blog, this blog is where I can truly be me!!

Popular posts from this blog

A prisoner of my own mind

A while ago I wrote about a bump in the road that saw me take a step backwards…. That bump is still very much on the road and I am simply coasting along hoping the end is in sight somewhere. But when the end comes I have to ask, how long will it last for? How long will the good times last before we hit another bump? I don’t want this anymore, I no longer want the label I have attached to me, I don’t want borderline personality disorder. When I was first diagnosed I resisted my diagnoses, last year when I got unwell again and found myself re-entering the mental health services and engaging with the community mental health team I had to use every ounce of energy to truly accept my diagnosis and in many ways empower the label and allow it to help me understand myself. That label, which had a positive purpose no longer holds the same status, now it is simply something I do not want, something which has taken over my mind and body, it is something that I need gone, I need it to disappe...
Read more

An unexpected week

Last week I went back to work and to say I was scared would be an understatement! On Sunday night I prepared myself as much as I could for what I anticipated to be one of the worst weeks I would experience in work. I expected to be riddled with anxiety to the point where I wouldn’t be able to go to work- I was not. I expected to feel pure panic as I drove to work each day, bordering on a full-blown panic attack- I did not. I expected to cry, each day over something minor, something small, something that wouldn’t have mattered- I did not. I expected to obsess over everything; put more rituals in place to ensure everything was perfect-I did not. I expected to hide the fact that I had been in hospital for my mental health, I expected to allow the shame I was feeling to take control, I expected to shy away from my colleagues during the week, I expected to fight this battle on my own, but I did not. It was a hard week in many ways, it was the first week back, I was sc...
Read more

Day 14- Two weeks post-op

Image
It's hard to believe it has only been two weeks since my corrective double jaw surgery, it feels like it happened months ago! I was hoping that my two week update would be as positive as my first week update but I’m afraid its not. For about the past week I have been dealing with a lot of pain on my right side particularly at the site of surgery on my lower jaw. Having met with my surgeon last Friday he prescribed another course of antibiotics, as he was concerned there could be a slight infection due to the pain I have been experiencing, much to my dismay the pain in my right side is only worsening. It’s nothing I am very concerned about; I mean it’s only two weeks since the surgery so it is more than likely as a result of you now my jaw being broken! But nevertheless it is something, which I am monitoring and keeping a close eye on, should it continue to worsen over the next couple of days I phone call to the surgeon, might be in store. Swelling has improved a lot sinc...
Read more