Whats the point?

I have spent almost the past 14 years doing athletics, a sport I love, a sport I couldn’t imagine a life with out and a sport that has introduced me to a community, a community where I belong but somewhere along the way something changed and as I sit here writing I find myself fighting back the tears because a sport which I once could not imagine living with out is the sport that is causing me pain, mentally and physically.

Athletics has always been apart of my life, the members of Celbridge Ac are my second family yet I feel I may have reached a point where I need to leave the nest, move on from athletics and say goodbye to my second family. Maybe I’m having a bad couple of days, maybe its my depression or maybe its just time to move on like so many others who were once apart of Celbridge Ac. Is it finally time to move over and make way for the next generation of athletes?

People say why don’t you try coaching and I have, for the past year I have helped coaching a group of younger athletes but recently even that has become a chore for a number of reasons, I am not a qualified coach, some of the young people I coach do not respect me and because I don’t really know if the young people are benefiting from it.

I find myself asking the same question over and over again, whats the point in doing athletics anymore? Maybe my time has come to leave, make way for newer athletes, better coaches and do as so may others have including my own brothers and say goodbye. Is it what I want? I don’t know, I feel confused, lost and like I have just hit a brick wall, maybe a break would be good but what happens if that break isnt, what happens if I loose interest altogether, isolate myself and allow my depression to take control.

I feel myself getting worked up over this issue but hopefully over the next couple of days I can take some time to myself for some reflection and finally get an answer to my question “Whats the point?”
© There's Always Light at the End of the Tunnel. Design by Studio Kiwi.