You will live on forever in our hearts.

It’s crazy how time goes by so fast. This time last year I was on holidays in sunny Spain with my granddad and my brother Paul. Many people think a holiday in Spain would be great but not this holiday, this holiday was one that I will never be able to forget. While in Spain nearing the end of our holiday my granddad got very ill, he was taken into hospital where he passed away because of a heart attack.

During the whole experience of being in a hospital where the doctors don’t speak English and that I was on my own with my brother I was terrified. I was scared that my granddad was going to die but I was also scared because my granddad was blind and half deaf so I was scared for him. I tried to stay positive during the whole thing but it was very hard and in the end the outcome was very much a negative one.

While we were in Spain part of me thought because he is such a strong man he will pull through this. I mean he went into a diabetic coma once and came out of that stronger than ever and well I thought he was going to do the same this time round. But when me and Paul were told that he was going to have to be put on a ventilator and we were told to ring home we knew it was serious and well I could think about was how I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him just yet. I wanted at least one more day with him.

After my mam died I got really close to my granddad and so did my two brothers. Me and Paul and Shane pretty much done all that we could to look after him while he was losing his sight and so whenever he wanted to go on a holiday he brought me or Paul to help him and well to spoil us as well.  We would go over every year with him and stay in his sister’s apartment. Each year someone else was brought along but I was the only one who went each year, I think that was because he bought everybody else to Lourdes but he never got to bring me. Anyway my granddad was everything to me, I could never imagine a life without him and when he died suddenly it was a huge shock not just to me but to everyone.

I have to say I took his death pretty bad and well he was my life. I went to his house every week and he came to our house every week too. He only lived down the road from us and knowing that I would never be able to go to his house and see him took me a while to get use to that fact. A year on im still not use to the fact that I am never going to get to see him again and I will never be able to go to his house and have a chat with him or play with his guide dog.

I look up to my granddad; he was kind warm hearted, looking, giving, fun and happy. He inspires me and I always try my best to make him proud. I know that he might not be here with me now but he is up in heaven somewhere with my mam and granny looking down on me watching out for me keeping me safe and for that I say thanks.

My granddad was an amazing man and even writing this post I am finding it hard to sum up how great he was in just one post. He was a knight of Malta, and honorary Carmelite, a great friend ,an amazing granddad and so much more. I had many names for my granddad and he had many names for me. I was his shove-over, his vampire and his whippersnapper. He was my gaga, my jellyfish and my grumpy. He meant the world to me and helped to fill a hole that was left after my mam died but after he died a bigger hole in my life was created. I miss my granddad and always will but I will never forget all of the amazing times that we shared together.

My granddad may not be with me here right now but I know that he is up there in heaven looking down on me keeping me safe and sound. I miss you and I will never forget you. I hope your resting easy up there.Keep smiling. xx

                                                                                                                                             
            

The song that was played at his funeral.