March 21st

The 21st of march, this year a Friday, the start of the weekend, a night out , this Friday has so many different meanings for each person and that is the same for me. This Friday the 21st of March marks two years since I was discharged from hospital after spending 4 months in hospital and since that day I have not stepped back into hospital and have continued on my road to recovery.

To be honest when I got discharged I didn’t know what to expect. I was scared, happy, nervous, anxious and delighted. There were so many emotions going around in my head I didn’t know what to think however I can vividly recall the moment of relief as I stepped outside of the hospital for the last time, the last time I sat in the dining room, the last time I sat in the common room and the last time I talked to the nurses and doctors who without doubt saved my life, supported me and encouraged me to get on the road to recovery.

After being discharged I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I thought I might end up back in hospital within a couple of weeks, I thought I would  go back to my old ways, I thought I would struggle to adjust and settle back into my routine and I thought that my friends, my classmates and my community would look down on me, treat me as an outcast, be cautious around me and treat me differently. I was scared and at times I wanted to be back in hospital because that was where  I felt safe, I didn’t have to worry about people around me, I didn’t have to worry about school and I didn’t have to worry about getting back to reality. But despite my fears, despite my feelings of insecurity and despite my worries of relapse I made it, I stayed on the road to recovery and even though I have my bumps in the road I am still working hard to stay on my road to recovery.


Today I am like a new person, today I have achieved many things which can be considered a result of my experiences with a mental health issue. While I had a hard time in hospital, while I was in a very bad place in hospital and while I wanted to die and harm myself if it wasn’t for my time in hospital I would not have achieved the things I have achieved today. My experiences have led me to write this blog to show other people that there is hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel, my experiences have led to me becoming a See Change ambassador and youth panel member and my experiences have led me to beginning a charitable initiative to help break stigma surrounding mental health. Without my hard times I would not have grown, without my hard times I would not have become who I am today and without my hard times I would not be as close as I am now to my family and friends. While at the time I went through hell as of yet it has done nothing but benefited me.

So on the off chance the doctors, nurses and all the other staff who treated and worked with me in hospital are reading this I want to say thank you, to my family and friends thank you, to my secondary school thank you and to everybody who has walked into my life, been non-judgemental encouraged and supported me to stay on recovery thank you! 


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