Nobody is immune from a mental illness. There is no special vaccine that can prevent a mental illness. There is however ways of looking after your mental health in order to reduce the chances of you suffering from a mental illness. These ways include eating right, exercising, getting enough sleep etc. But no matter how much we look after ourselves we are still not immune to those bad days, the days where we want to stay in bed, curl up in a ball and wish we could go back in time. We are not immune to these bad days and every now and again it is these bad days that remind us we need some looking after, we need to take some time out or that we just need to do something, which we enjoy. For me it is these bad days that remind me that I need to give myself a break, look after myself and do something positive for me.
This week I had a bad day. I woke up and I was not in control of my mind. I was at the mercy of my thoughts, feelings and emotions. My depression had taken control of my mind and in order to prevent my one bad day turning into a bad week then a bad month and eventually letting my depression control me I had to do something to prevent this. I wanted to stay in bed, to curl up into a ball and forget who I was, my past and my feelings but I couldn't, I couldn’t let my depression win and take control over me. I knew if I let my depression take control of me I would enter into my own personal black hole, a downward spiral of self-destruction so I did something to prevent this from happening. While I didn’t feel strong enough to go on my college project visits I did get up and I did get out of the house to try and clear my head.
I try my best to find something positive in everyday and especially the days when I am struggling. While I struggled through my bad day it was the one positive thing I found encouraged me to focus on gaining control over my mind and my thoughts. It is also during these bad days that I choose to reflect on my scars from self-harming. This allows me to remind myself of the power I have to take control over my mind, the courage I had to ask for help and the strength which allowed me to develop ways of coping and overcoming my self-harm.
The most important thing which I want people to take from this post is that having a bad day does not have to be the start of a downward spiral for a person which is suffering from a mental illness but also that anybody can suffer from a mental illness.