What made me fight?

The other day I got asked a question from one of my readers. She asked me was there anything that made me keep fighting or fight harder when I was in hospital. So there are a few things so I have decided that I would write a blog post about it to outline the things that kept me going. What exactly my family and friends did that made me want to keep going. While I was in hospital I did some stupid things when I got the chance to go out for a few hours or whatever on leave but it was because of what my family and friends did that made me stop doing those things. They basically gave me the wakeup call that I needed.

One of the first things that made me fight was the fact that I was missing out on things; I was missing school, scouts, athletic, spending time with my friends and family. I guess missing all of that made me want my life back. I didn’t want to be stuck in hospital all of the time, I wanted to get back doing the things that I love the most. When I began to notice I was missing all of these things I guess I realised that I was beginning my road to recovery. I was getting through the hardest part of my depression. I slowly began to feel that I was able to go back to the outside world. When I realised this it was time that I began to work with the doctors and the nurses and work towards my discharge, and get back to my life.

Support. I was getting a lot of support both inside and outside of hospital. This support helped me to create better relationships around me and to deal with things that I had never dealt with before. Having so much support around me in the beginning wasn’t what I wanted because I was feeling so low but as things began to get better and I realised the support I had around me it helped a lit. I felt that because these people were around me I could get through this and I was able to get back on track.

A letter from my brother was one of the main things that made me fight to get home. There was nothing bad in the letter, it was nice and it showed me how much he cares for me. This kind of links in with the support I was given. I guess this letter made me want to get back home to my family. It made me think and it showed me how much I am loved; it was what I needed to help me get back on track and stay focused.

My brother’s wedding. It goes without saying that I did not want to miss his wedding and I was basically given an ultimatum. I needed it to be honest, it was either have control over my self -harm and try my best to stop or I don’t go to the wedding. I was aware that they were doing this because they wanted t make sure I stay safe. To be honest I had always taken it for granted that I was going to be going to the wedding and when I was given this ultimatum I basically copped on and again this was a wake up call that I needed.

I basically have to thank my family, friends, teachers, doctors, nurses and everybody that supported me through that hard time. If it wasn’t for them I would not be doing as well as I am now. I still have my bad days but because of the people I have around me I know I will get through them and that those bad days are only going to be days rather than weeks like they were before.


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