Removing the labels.

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Mental health.

I have written this post before and I have decided to publish it again because it is something that I have experienced in my life and I think it is really important that we begin to talk about it now rather than later. Many people don't like talking about things like self-harm or suicide but we need to talk about these things to help prevent them from happening as much as they are happening now. People also don't like talking about mental health difficulties and they are far more common than you think. I have mental health difficulties myself and I have found that many people don't talk about them and that there is a huge stigma attached to people who have mental health problems. People also have a view of hospitals for people who are mentally ill and I can assure you now that they are not like what you see in the movies..... they are completely different! Right now I don't have time to write a post on mental health but I will get writing it on paper and then when I hav...
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An unexpected week

Last week I went back to work and to say I was scared would be an understatement! On Sunday night I prepared myself as much as I could for what I anticipated to be one of the worst weeks I would experience in work. I expected to be riddled with anxiety to the point where I wouldn’t be able to go to work- I was not. I expected to feel pure panic as I drove to work each day, bordering on a full-blown panic attack- I did not. I expected to cry, each day over something minor, something small, something that wouldn’t have mattered- I did not. I expected to obsess over everything; put more rituals in place to ensure everything was perfect-I did not. I expected to hide the fact that I had been in hospital for my mental health, I expected to allow the shame I was feeling to take control, I expected to shy away from my colleagues during the week, I expected to fight this battle on my own, but I did not. It was a hard week in many ways, it was the first week back, I was sc...
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A prisoner of my own mind

A while ago I wrote about a bump in the road that saw me take a step backwards…. That bump is still very much on the road and I am simply coasting along hoping the end is in sight somewhere. But when the end comes I have to ask, how long will it last for? How long will the good times last before we hit another bump? I don’t want this anymore, I no longer want the label I have attached to me, I don’t want borderline personality disorder. When I was first diagnosed I resisted my diagnoses, last year when I got unwell again and found myself re-entering the mental health services and engaging with the community mental health team I had to use every ounce of energy to truly accept my diagnosis and in many ways empower the label and allow it to help me understand myself. That label, which had a positive purpose no longer holds the same status, now it is simply something I do not want, something which has taken over my mind and body, it is something that I need gone, I need it to disappe...
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