There's Always Light at the End of the Tunnel

Something was said to me last week by the therapist and it’s not the first time she has said it either but I think its finally started to sink in and I think for the first time in a long time I have really thought about it, evaluated it and actually began to think about my life and what exactly I want to get from life. It somewhat relates to a previous blog post I wrote about continuing on with DBT but its much more than that, what she said has meaning, what she said is true and it has taken me months to finally accept that she has been telling me the truth. In almost every session that I have had with this therapist over the past four months she has told me that I have to potential to be a happy healthy person. I didn’t believe her and never really thought that much into it, until this week I disagreed with her because I couldn't see the potential in me. Whats more is that I'm not angry at myself for not seeing this potential in me because so much of my life has been a str...

When I was seven years old my life changed significantly, I became a ‘ Big Sister’, a step-sister but a big  sister nonetheless. It was a big change despite not living with my younger step-brother it took a lot of getting used to and to be honest I'm not really sure I ever got used to it. Two years later at the age of nine I welcomed yet another younger step brother into my life and again while it was great not to be the baby amongst my siblings the novelty of having to younger siblings, step siblings soon wore off. Not having fully gotten used to the first new addition the second new addition didn’t make it any easier. I believe that as a result of not living with my younger step-brothers, having two parents constantly fighting and a parent being diagnosed with cancer I wasn’t necessarily in the position to take on the ‘ Big Sister’ role and well because I didn’t live with my younger step-brothers I was still considered the baby of the family.
 If I'm honest when my mum g...

I try to keep this blog as positive as possible, share my story highlighting the positives, how I've come out the other end still in one piece and how I can live with a mental health issue but sometimes its not as positive as I make it out to be. Don’t take me up the wrong way, don’t get the idea that I'm trying to trick you because I'm not because things do get better and they have for me but that’s not to say things cant take a turn as well. I haven't been writing lately not since October and I've missed it, I've missed sharing whats going on inside my head, my day to day activities and I've missed how writing makes me feel good but over the past couple of months I haven't been able to write because things haven't been so good. Ive had some tough weeks and I've had some good weeks and right now I'm off my medication and engaged in DBT therapy which have contributed to my tough weeks as well as my good weeks. As a result of fear I decid...