A surprise battle
As I sit here writing this my legs are shaking, my thoughts racing and my body crying out for relief. What’s wrong with me? I have been overcome with urges to self-harm. Why? I wish I knew the answer. I’ve been up and down the past few weeks and now it might be that things are coming to a head, maybe I’m not taking enough time for myself, maybe I’m getting caught up in running through the motions rather than living in the moment, whatever the reason, I know right now I have an urge, a craving, a desire, a need. When was the last time I even self-harmed? It wasn’t that long ago yet it was at the same time, but when I cant quiet put my finger on it. Why did I do it? I don’t know, but I’m sure in the moment I had some justification, whether rational or irrational, in my mind it was a justification. Now, now I’m feeling overwhelmed, sucked into a black hole and the only light is a small, shiny, sharp object but I cant, can I? I cant pick I up and use it, it would be too big a risk, it w...