There's Always Light at the End of the Tunnel

Scars. I once knew a girl. Who forever had scars and cuts upon her arms. Hope was insribed. Not in the colour of ink. But in the colours of the scars. With stitches on her skin. Plus tears in her eyes. And bumpy scars. Filled with hate and shame. For whats she done. But she'll do it again. She once saw someone. They asked what is that on your arms. Ciggerette burns came the reply. Deep inside the girl was lost. I once saw myself drowned in tears. Cant understand the purpose of my being. For the cuts and scars. The pain goes so much deeper Amy Kerswell I wake up every morning and I am greeted with the painful sight of my arms covered in scars. Many people might think that it is just my arms but it’s not. The scars are everywhere inside and outside. Many of my scars reflect the pain I have suffered in my life but many are there because I was addicted to self-harm. I once wanted these scars; I’m not going to lie. I...

Have you ever wondered why me? I know I have and I often still wonder why me. There are so many people in the world out there today who have challenges facing them every day and have had bad luck throughout their lives. Some people may say that I have had bad luck throughout my life and I disagree with that. All of things that have happened to me during my life is just my life, not bad luck but my life. I do have challenges that face me every day and many of them are related to my mental illness but I don’t let that get me down, I embrace it. I often wonder why me? I wonder why my mam had to die and why I have depression and why every day I struggle with self harm. I have been through a lot and I have had some very bad days. But when I wonder why me I always come to the same conclusion- That yeah I have been through a lot and yeah it has been hard, but if I hadn’t gone through everything  have, if I didn’t gain control over m self harm and I f I didn’t learn how to cope with ...

The other day I got asked a question from one of my readers. She asked me was there anything that made me keep fighting or fight harder when I was in hospital. So there are a few things so I have decided that I would write a blog post about it to outline the things that kept me going. What exactly my family and friends did that made me want to keep going. While I was in hospital I did some stupid things when I got the chance to go out for a few hours or whatever on leave but it was because of what my family and friends did that made me stop doing those things. They basically gave me the wakeup call that I needed. One of the first things that made me fight was the fact that I was missing out on things; I was missing school, scouts, athletic, spending time with my friends and family. I guess missing all of that made me want my life back. I didn’t want to be stuck in hospital all of the time, I wanted to get back doing the things that I love the most. When I began to notice I was miss...