I lost a mother but gained a guardian angel.

It hard to believe how fast the time goes by when you lose someone close to you. Six years is a long time but it all went by so fast, it still feels like only yesterday when I watched God take my mother away from us. I guess when my mam died it was my first real experience with death, I was only a baby when my granny died so I didn’t know her but I did grow up hearing stores about her and visiting her grave I might not have got a chance to know her or get close to her but I feel that in some ways I did know her and I was close to her.

Today is my mam’s 6 year anniversary and I’m still trying to come to terms with how long it has been. My mam died after she lost the battle with lung cancer. She was a strong and brave person and she never let being sick get the better of her she fought until the very last moment. She always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening. Whenever I would go into the hospital to see her while she was sick that was the one thing I would look forward to seeing, her amazing smile that could light up and room.

I don’t want to write a long post that is really personal because it will just get me upset so for the rest of this post its going to be a poem that is on my mams memorial card. This describes how I feel right down to the bone.

We lost a mother with a heart of gold,
How much we miss her can never be told,
She shared our troubles and helped us along,
If we follow her footsteps we will never go wrong.

We miss you from your fireside chair,
Your loving smile and gentle air,
Your vacant place no one can fill,
We miss you mother and always will.

She was a mother so very rare,
Content in her home an always there,
On earth she toiled in heaven she rests,
God bless you mother you were one of the best.

Each time we look at your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
Don’t be sad but courage take,
And love each other for my sake.


Six years ago today I lost an amazing mother that was there for me no matter what, who made me who I am today. All thought she may not be right here beside me I know she is here with me. I lost a mother but gained a guardian angel and I will always have her looking down on me keeping me safe and guiding me in the right direction. I now know that God only takes the best because you were truly one of the best mothers around. Miss you mam and always will.

Its been a while.....

I think that it is fair to say that I have neglected my blog now quiet a bit since I have finished school for the summer. The main reason for this is because I dont really have that much to write about, I have tried to keep uploading things as much as possible but there really is no point in me uploading things for the hell of it.

As tomorrow is quiet a significant day for me I will be writing a blog post in the morning (hopefully), but for now I am going to finish the post with something someone very close to me said this to me:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I found this very inspirational and as I find myself going through some difficult things right now in my life all I have to do is think of this and I know that if I try hard enough I will be able to make things better and I will be back to my old self before I know it.

Photo of the day. :)

Matt Lama Lemon we miss you....

Photo of the day. :)

The duck song.

We sang this a lot when we were in Wexford!

Photo of the day. :)

In case the train gets lost follow the blue line!

On Monday me and Kellie headed on an adventure to Wexford to see some of the girls who are on holidays for the whole summer in their mobile home. Aoife left in July while Ashling and Emer came down a week ago to stay in a house that they rented close to Aoifes mobile home. And Louise was arriving down to her mobile home on Tuesday. We started on our adventure to kilmuckridge to stay the night with Aoife and the girls at 10.45 on Monday morning.

Our first stop was across the road from my house to buy some flowers and a card for Aoifes mam Jane who was going to kindly to collect us from the train station a in Gorey and look after us for our stay in Wexford. So thank you again Jane. After that we made our way to the bus stop a long our five bags. People would have thought that we were going to be staying for the next month and that we brought the whole house with us. Let's just say we came very prepared!

After we got the bus into Hueston station we got the Laus to bus seas and then walked to Connolly station where we got our train to Wexford. We were very ahead on our schedule which I was very pleased with but then again the fact that we had to wait in the train station before we could get on the train but it wasn't too bad apart from the bird that I didn't like and he didn't like me too much but he left eventually and I was safe in my chair from the evil bird. We came prepared also brining a map of Ireland and drawing a blue line from Dublin to Wexford to so that if the train got lost it would know where to go.... We were a bit hyper that morning.



After we finally figured out where we had to sit on the train we were ready for our two hour journey. Our seats had our names on them where we were meant to sit and me and Kellie got a bit over excited to see that.
                                                                                                                         


The journey then went very quick and we were in Wexford before we knew it. Once we arrived at Aoifes mobile we were given a not so warm welcome by the girls who were all half asleep lying on the couch in the mobile. But not too worry we soon got to our feet and headed out to the beach on an adventure. 



We did everything ,writing in the sand on the beach.


Playing in the toy house.


Giving Jockey- backs


Doing some late night dancing.


Acting like idiots.


And spelling a word out on our hands.


It was a great two days and I would love to go back to Wexford soon. I have to say that the two days that  I spent in Wexford was a very much needed holiday for my laptop. It has taken me so , long to write this post I have forgotten half of the different and fun things that we did while we were down there.

P.S. The title of this post is called " In case the train gets lost follow the blue line" because of this:

My map... :)



singing in the rain!



Its raining today nothing unusual that's why I chose this song.
Im working on a few different blog post  so I should have them published tomorrow.

Photo of the day. :)

Shut up and Smile. :)

Photo of the day. :)

Ashling, me and Mandy.

Our house.

Photo of the day. :)

Me and Emer having great fun playing with the toys in Smyths.

Bridesmaids.

The other night I went with the rest of m. family to the cinema. My dad Paul and Shane went to see Harry Potter the second time for Paul and Shane they are obsessed with Harry Potter it’s kind of scary. While they went off to see Harry Potter Amy and I headed off to see Bridesmaids. Before the film started Amy told me that this film is not going to be an example of how I am to act for her wedding! We did come out of the cinema with some idea for some entertainment for the wedding such as dink tanks, tight rope walkers and some puppies and elephants!

I enjoyed the film it was very funny and had a good story to it. I did however feel a bit uncomfortable at some parts of the film but it was ok for the most part. to pick one favorite part of the movies I would be here for a while trying to pick I would have to say that I had many. The film was brilliant and I would really recommend going to see it. there is plenty of good laughs to be had.

 I as going to write a film review but then I decided not to and to rather just write those two paragraphs because I don't want to ruin the film and i don't have a lot to say about it.

Here is the trailer for the film.

Photo of the day. :)


Me and Amy at my birthday after Shane covered us in chocolate!

Wexford!

Tomorrow me and Kellie are going to Wexford to see Aoife, Emer, Ashling and Louise who are all down there on holiday in their mobile homes. We are going down tomorrow on the train, as long as we get on the right train... I will end up getting on the wrong train. Im really excited about going so I thought that this was an appropriate song.

Someone like you.

Photo of the day. :)

Me and Emer somewhere in town.

You are never too old for Disney!

One thing that I have learned while I have been getting older is that you are never too old for a Disney film. I mean they are classics. I love Disney films and I will watch them over and over again without a doubt and not get board of them. There are certain parts of some Disney films that are my favorite of all Disney films. Some of my favorite films made by Disney are Finding Nemo, Snow white and the seven dwarfs, Cars, Alice  in wonderland, Brother bear and the extremely Goofy movie. I think that it goes without saying that I love Disney and so do most people my age even if they done admit it sure I know people a lot older than me who love Disney just as much or even more than me.

Some of my favorite parts of these movies are:

Finding Nemo:





Snow White the seven dwarfs:




Cars:




Alice in Wonderland:




The extremely Goofy movie:





My absolute favourite Disney character is none other than Goofy. And remember you are never too old for Disney!

I can see clearly now.

I love this song.

Photo of the day. :)


Me and my granddad when I was younger.

A dream come true.

I don’t know what it is but I have always had a fascination with going on a trip to Boston.  For many years now I have always wanted to go when my mam was alive I had the whole trip planned out for the two of us to go together but I never got to go with her and to be honest it wasn’t something that I got very disappointed about because it was only ever a dream. When i became close to my granddad after my mam died we had jokes about going to Boston with my granddad. One of the jokes that we had was that he brought us to Rome because Paul mentioned going there so I figure if I mentioned Boston we could go there..... and well that didn’t work.

I wanted to move over to Boston when I finished college and be a nurse well that was until my granddad scared me out of that idea.... but I still wanted to go to Boston for a holiday at least. My granddad decided that I could bring him when I was old enough and finished college and well I guess like going to Boston with my mam was a dream going to Boston with my granddad became my new dream. But once again that dream could not come through because my granddad passed away last year.

But now i find myself heading to Boston and New York in about a month and I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about going. Don’t get me wrong I have wanted to go to Boston for years now and I am great full that I have been given the chance to go to Boston and New York when there are many people not going on holidays this year. I am in no way complying about go on holidays its just strange that after both the people I had planned to go to Boston with passed away I finally get to go. In many ways its a dream come true and I guess I’ll just have to bring my mam and Granddad with me in my heart so they can enjoy everything that we were meant to enjoy together in Boston. Who knows maybe it was because of the death of my mam and granddad that my dream is finally coming true.

How many elements in the Periodic table????

Over the past few days Kellie has managed to get this song stuck in my head. She knows this song off by heart and will not stop signing it over and over again!

Photo of the day. :)


This photo is from a beach down in Wexford that me and the girls went to last year to visit Louise and Aoife while they were staying in their mobile homes for the summer. Me and Kellie are heading to Wexford to see Aoife, Louise,Ashling, Emer and were going to meet new Wexford people as the are describe to us on Monday and staying the night.

Lets get talking!

Sorry it’s been a little while since I last updated my blog. I have been finding it hard to think of things to write about. It was until last night I had nothing at all to write about and no inspiration either until Aisling gave me a list of different things that I could write about. After going through the list I found something that I wanted to write about but it wasn’t linked directly to one of the topics that I was given.

What I am going to write about in this post I guess is something that most people know about but nobody talks about it. In this blog post I am going to write about self-harm. As I was writing this blog post I was worried about publishing it to be honest and I don’t really know why. I think it was because I was scared of what people might think and if it might cause people to get upset. I don’t mean for this to be triggering to anybody and I don’t mean for this to upset anybody.

Self harming is the deliberate harm to you. This can be done in many different ways. Some people cut while others burn or scratch. There are many different ways that people self harm but most people who do self harm do it for the same reason, to cope with what is going on in their life at the time. This topic is very close to me because I know of people who have self harmed and the struggle that they go through on a daily basis to try and not self harm. People often think that if you self –harm you are suicidal but that is not true and most people who do self-harm are only looking for a release and no to die. There is often stigmas attached to people who self-harm and many are also judged because they do it and excluded from groups of people.

Many people who have self-harmed in the past are ashamed of it and try to cover up and hid their scares because of fears that the might be judged. Most people keep it a secret until they have ad enough and realized that they dont need this anymore and that they can change and that things will get better. Many people who self-harm may also be depressed and can feel ashamed that they are but there is a quote that I think is really important for any one suffering fro depression and it is " depression is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you have been strong for too long" I hope that this quote will comfort some people who struggle from depression.

Most people self harm as a way of relief and expressing their feelings. Many people find it hard to talk about their feeling and eventually it all gets to be too much for them and they take all of their anger and frustration out on themselves. Its certainly not a good way of dealing with things but for some people it is the only way that they know how. Often for people who do self-harm it can turn into an addiction depending on self harming to help get you through the day and to communicate with people how you feel.

The aim of writing this blog post was to help raise awareness about self harm not just in Ireland but all over the world. Many people know about self harm and it is a very important topic and people need to talk about it but I feel that people don’t want to talk about it.  I sometimes get the feeling that people are scared to talk about these kind of topics but if we don’t talk about them then we will never be able to move on and provide more help to the people who are struggling from self –harm. Most people who self-harm feel alone and ashamed but they are not alone there are many people all over the world in the same position as they are.

For anybody who is reading this blog post who self harms just remember that you are not alone and that it is never too late to get help. No one chooses to self harm but you can choose to get help. There are many places around Ireland including Pieta house. To find out more about self harm click here.

Self Injury awareness day is on the first of March.

Not many people like to talk about self-harm or self-injury and I feel that it is time more people should start!


Photo of the day. :)


This photos is from Kellie's birthday party, I was meant to make sure that Mandy didnt fall down the slide...... but then I let go of her foot.... Sorry Mandy :)

I'm Yours....

Last week I was uploading new songs to my iPod and one of the songs that I made sure to out onto my iPod was "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. I love this song so much and always puts me into a happy mood... :)


Google +

Lately on things like twitter I have been hearing a lot about this new Google+. I heard that it was a lot like Facebook and I didn’t really bother trying to learn more about it as I all ready have a Facebook account what’s the use in creating a Google+ account when it is similar to Facebook. It wasn’t until today that I really took a notice in Google+ after I received and email from a friend inviting me to Google+. It was then when I decided that I should have a look at it and see what it was all about.

It wasn’t long before I managed to sign myself up. To be honest I am very confused about the whole thing but I am slowly starting to figure out things. I have figured out how to upload pictures and how to chat with people. I did add someone to a circle..... That’s what confused me the most, is a circle the same as a friend list.... it is a lot like Facebook but there are no games such as Farmville and that sort of thing. And you can update your status and have conversations with friends but all the same it’s very confusing in the beginning. Sure when I started using Facebook for the first time it might as well have been in a different language.

I don’t know a huge amount about Google+ to start writing about the pros and cons but I did read a very interesting blog post about Google+ here. It helped me understand what it was all about and so did Mrs. L of course.... what would we do without our friendly I.T teachers. I think that for now I am going to keep using Facebook seeing as how I seem to find Google+  very complicated and I don't really see the point in having a Facebook and Goggle+  account when the chances are that I am only going to use one. But you never know with me, in the beginning I didn’t like blogging now I love it. In the beginning I didn’t like Google+ I know were still at the beginning of it all but in a week or two I’m sure that I will come to like it.... well maybe.

Photo of the day. :)

Photo of the day. :)

Photo of the day. :)


Me and my Granddad.

Fears.

One of my worst fears would have to be the dentist. I’m scared of a number of things but the dentist is my biggest fear closely followed by horses. I know that there are a lot of people who are scared of the dentist and I am one of the many people that are scared of the dentist. It’s not the person, my dentist is very nice and friendly but it’s more the tools and the sounds. I hate when I walk into the dentist and I hear the sound of a drill.

I was once getting a filling but the injection to numb by gum didn’t work and I felt everything...... and ever since that day I have been terrified of the drill and even when I hear the sound of the drill I can almost feel the pain that I felt in my tooth that day. When I go into the dentist I cannot look at anything other than the chair and once I am sitting down I only look at the ceiling. The more that I look around the room the more panicked I get and it all starts going downhill from there.

I guess that I am writing this blog post because well I had nothing better to write about and also because I have a dentist appointment in two weeks and I am not looking forward to it at all. It’s not like I’m going into the unknown by going to the dentist most of the time I know what the dentist is going to do when I go to see her. Like for this appointment I am getting more moulds done and I am also getting some photos taken of my jaw. I don’t have to big of a problem getting the moulds done they just don’t taste very nice but other than that it’s not too bad but I hate getting photos taken..... That’s just horrible and it’s not the type of photos that you are thinking of.

But anyway I’m scared of the dentist and terrified of the drill that they use. There is a song that I love by one of the bands that I really like Owl city. I love this song but at the same time I hate this song because it reminds me of the dentist.




A while ago me and my friends also made a podcast about fears......

Fears. (mp3)

Photo of the day. :)



This photo was taken at the Irish dancing all Ireland's last weekend. This was a group who went from Flood school and two of the members from the group are friends of mine. All the members of the group who competed did very well and I hear that all their hard work and hours of training paid off in the end when their show dance which was Alice in Wonderland was award second prize. Many of the dances were also awarded individual prizes. Well done to all of the dancers.

Photo of the day. :)

Photo of the day. :)

Lilo and her brother Mossy.... :)

11 months later.

It’s hard to believe that I have been bogging for the past 11 months. It’s not July and I started blogging last September. This all started as me blogging about what I did in T.Y I never thought my blog would become more than anything other than a reflection of T.Y. In the beginning I never thought I would take to blogging like I have done, at first I thought that it was weird kind of like I was talking to myself because I didn’t think that people would read my blog. It’s hard to believe that I have blogged so much during the past 11 months this is going to be my 364th post. And when my blog reached 10,000 age views I was very amazed and surprised that I had reached 10,000 page views.

Blogging has done a lot for me, it lets me share my experiences and give my opinions on things, it’s a great reflection tool, and I think that it has in some ways helped me to improve my English. But it has not helped me to improve my spelling no matter how many times I spell check a post there is always words spelt wrong, so I’m sorry for my very bad spelling. Last year I got a “C” in my junior cert for English and this year I got an “A” in my summer test and I think that blogging helped me to improve that grade.

My blog has gone from being a school blog to a personal blog and I have a feeling that I am not going to stop blogging any time soon. I don’t really mind if people don’t read my blog sure my brother and my dad don’t even read my blog unless I open it up on the screen in front of them. But I like to think that some of the things that I write get people thinking. Some of the post that I hope to have got people thinking were the posts on Parents and CTYI. I also hope that some of the post that I have wrote about my personal experience with things such as death have helped people who are going through these times to see that things do get better. I mean everyone goes through good and bad times and we always miss the people who we love that have died but it does get better. I think that it can often be like a rollercoaster for me I have good times and I have bad times but I always think there my mam and my granddad are up there looking down on me making sure I stay safe.

I was looking back on some of my old blog post.... when I read my first blog post I was thinking Oh God did I really write that. Since then my posts have got longer and I think more interesting I’m not sure what you think but I think some of my post are interesting. I think that they way that I write a blog post has also changed a lot since I first started blogging.

I’m glad that I was introduced to blogging if it wasn’t for blogging in T.Y I would have never started a blog but I am glad that I have one now. There is so many things that I want to blog about, things like holidays and trips.... I will be blogging about the upcoming school trip to Poland in October and my family holiday to New York and Boston in August. I want to tell people my experiences of things... like family, friends and well I guess life in general. I want to share my thoughts on things like current affairs and other things in general. And of course I want to bog about Athletics especially going into the new season after an injury..... It might be just a bit late to go back to training this season after my foot injury but I might just start running in the mornings to keep fit for when I do go back.

I never thought that I would get more than 10 bog posts and here I am at 364 I’m very surprised at the amount I have blogged and at how well I have taken to blogging and I have to say I love it. I hope that you like reading my blog.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Yesterday me and the girls headed into Blanchardstown to go to the National aquatic centre.

At first we didn’t have a clue how to get there but thanks to Paul’s map we got there in the end. Ashling made a map too but in comparison to Pauls it wasn’t very good and i we had followed her map we would have got lost more than once like we did with Pauls. The map said go left but the directions said go right... we went right and go lost. After a quick phone call it was back to the start and off we went again the right way.

The facilities at the NAC are very good, they always have been but I was surprised that it didn’t cost us more than 11.50 euro to get in and we could spend the whole day there. It also meant that we could use all of the facilities the waterslides, wave pool, lazy river and we could also go into the competition pool and swim for a while.

I have to say that looking the the pictures of the NAC from the outside it looks amazing and inside it is amazing too. I don’t have a lot to say about the day apart from it was great fun with the girls and I would defiantly love to do it again sometime. 

Our maps... :)

Photo of the day. :)

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