There's Always Light at the End of the Tunnel

My self-harm scars are something, which I have a love/hate relationship with. At times I love them, they remind me of my journey, the strength it has taken to stop self-harming and to deal with the reasons why I would harm, they represent my story and have become part of me. Other times I hate them, I hate the very fact that I have destroyed my body, marked it for life, and created something for people to look at, for people to associate with mental illness and stereotypes. My scars are without a doubt a part of me. I have never been the kind of person who has easily gotten into a routine of using creams and moisturizes and while I have used many different creams and oils to help with the appearance of my scars I have never used them for much longer than a few weeks. Why? Well besides forgetting and not bothering it is has always been something I wasn’t sure I want to do, it has very much been something which I wasn’t sure I could do, could I erase such a huge part of my life? Wel...

Some can view 4 months as a long time while others consider it to be a short time. You can think of 4 months in many different ways as 4 months itself, 16 weeks 121 days, 2921 hours or even 175316 minutes. For me at this moment I think of 4 months not only as 4 months but also as 4 months of taking positive steps to ensure I continue on my road to recovery. You might be wondering what I am talking about and well if you haven't already guessed it today marks 4 months since I last engaged in self-harm. That’s 121 days without harming myself, 16 weeks of battling intrusive and obsessive thoughts and 2921 hours of containing on a long road to recovery. The past 4 months have not been easy, not by any stretch of the imagination. The past 4 months have been filed with ups and downs with many more ups occurring over the past number of weeks, which may be as a result of my recent med reduction. 4 months may not seem like a long time for some people but when thinkin...