There's always light at the end of the tunnel.

Time for some happiness. :)

2012-02-28T05:35:00.002-08:00

Today I was sitting here at the computer very uninspired and not sure what I was going to write about and so I decided that why write something when I could just share this song that someone shared with me and it put me into a good mood. Here it is, no matter how down in the dumps you are im sure that this might make you forget about things for a little while and get into a good mood! :)

Another thing that might to help to cheer you up if you are feeling a bit down is this picture, I know it cheered me up and got my mind off things for a while.

I know I didnt right a lot today but this is a happy post that might to help make you feel good I know writing this post helped me to keep my mood up today so I hope that it does something for you too! :)

Strength!

2012-02-26T06:27:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been struggling a lot with things that are going on in my own life and well I began to think that there was no hope left for me and that I have no future to look forward to and I was really pretty down and I really didn't know what to do with my self and then out of no where I saw that my family do care about me and they are the people that are going to get me through all of the hard times. I now know that no matter how many fights we have or how many times I annoy them they are always going to be there for me no matter what!

The other day my brother sent me a message on facebook and well I think that was what I really need to help me to get my head straight and think about getting back on track and it has it has done a lot for me. To be honest if it wasn't for hm I would have just have gone the way that I have been going and not even stopped to think about things. It made my whole view on things change and I decided that it was time to be honest with the doctors and the nurses and begin to let them help me get back on track. I also decided that it was time to start and rebuild the trust I have lost with my family and this time I am going to try my best to get better sand to get out of this hospital as soon as I can. It might have taken me three months in here to realise but I am glad that I finally have realise and now I know that it is never to later to talk to people and it is never to late to realise things!

My brother sent me this song and told me to listen to it and I did and it made me feel a bit better in myself.It is time for things to start to change for me because I know that I can do it and if you are going through a hard time you can get through it to. You are strong and you are not made to break like my brother said. So if you are going through a hard time reach out to people and let them help you don't turn them away like I did. Let them help you. You might not think it now but they will help you and things will get better. It might take some time but it can and it will happen you just have to have faith in yourself and dig down deep to find the strength that you have inside you and use it to get back on track.

Things will get better you just have to give it some time. I have given things time and they are starting to get better so just take your time. Things always work out in the end. Yeah it will be hard and it might be long but it might be short but if you just focus you can do anything. Believe in yourself and anything is possible. " Nothing is impossible even the word its self says I'm Possible" I know that it can be hard believe me I have been through hard times but the most important thing is let the people who want to help you help you. It is the only way. You cant do this on your own and you don't have to. Speak out and let people know what is going on. Don't be ashamed to speak out and ask for help. We all need help at times so don't be scared things will get better!

Thanks to my brother, my best friend Paul I have started to think about things. I dont know what I would do without my family they mean everything to me.

Some day everything will make sense.

2012-02-25T13:17:00.000-08:00

Some day everything will make perfect sense and to help you keep hope I heard this from a friend and it helps me to look at things a more positive way.

"Someday everything will all make sense, so for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason"

This quote has got me through some of the hard times and all though it doesnt seem like it will do all that much for a person who is going through a hard time if you really think about it, it can make a difference for the better.

One month to go!!! :)

2012-02-24T18:20:00.000-08:00

There is only one month left until Shane and Amys big day. Im so excited for this wedding. Hopefully everything goes according to plan. :)

Photo of the day.

2012-02-23T18:13:00.000-08:00

SOS.

2012-02-22T18:02:00.000-08:00

I heard about this charity while I was in hospital and I decided to look it up. I had never heard anything about it until I was in a group and we were talking about things in the news paper and this charity SOS came up and we had a discussion about it. The charity SOS is Suicide or Survive and is a charity that was set up to help reduce the stigma that is attached to mental health and mental health difficulties. Here is the link to the charity website take a look at the website and see what you think of it yourself.

I know when I was going through a rough time and I heard about this charity and did some research that it helped me to understand things a bit better but it also helped me to feel that I was not alone in everything that was going on for me. It really did make a difference for me and I am glad to say that this website is one of the reasons that I am still here today and that I am here writing this post. This really is a truly and amazing website and I am glad I found it when I did. I hope this website might help you or someone that you know if they are going through a tough time in life and just remember that suicide is a final solution to a temporary problem. Believe me I have tried to take my own life three times and I am great full that I have not succeeded because I have now worked through some of the hard things in my life. Thing might not seem like they will get better but take it from someone who has experienced a lot of hardship in life... Anything is impossible and things will get better. Maybe not today but someday they will!

Photo of the day.

2012-02-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Ahh Ahh sand in my eye, there is sand in my eye HELP!!!!

Smile. :)

2012-02-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

"A smile is a curve that makes everything straight."
Louise Mc Gavey.

I found this quote in a calander I got from mental health Ireland and I thought it was amazing and I have kept this in my mind ever since I read it. So no matter what is going on dont forget to smile. :)

Source.

Photo of the day.

2012-02-19T17:53:00.000-08:00

I wish I knew what happened there...... I have some crazy friends.

I can and You can!

2012-02-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

Ever since I began to get unwell and end up in hospital people began to tell me that I can get through this and well for a long time I didnt believe the doctors and the nurses and m friends and my family but now having got this far I know that they were right. So when someone tells you that you can do something say to yourself that you can because I know thats one of the thkngs that helped me get to where I am today. I can do this and I will do this.

Source.

Hope.

2012-02-17T22:18:00.000-08:00

This will get better when your going through a tough time they really will. Maybe not tod ay but some day they will get better and when that day comes it will be one of the bes days of your life.

Source.

Its Okay!

2012-02-16T14:17:00.000-08:00

Source.

Life......

2012-02-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

Source.

This is how I feel sometimes I just cant manage to get my head around things.

You are never alone.

2012-02-14T13:51:00.000-08:00

		Many people feel like they are all alone in the worldespecially when it comes to mental health diffculties. Many people feel like they are all alone which is why I decided to use this picture when really there is always someone there for you no matter what us going on you just have to try and find that one person who will do anything for you and will never let you down.
Source.

	You are never alone!!!!
Source.

Photo of the day.

2012-02-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

8 common myths about Self harm.

2012-02-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

Here are some common myths about self harm....that are NOT true!

1.Self-harm is the same as a suicide attempt.
2. Self-harm is superficial and not dangerous.
3. Self-harm is manipulative.
4. If you self-harm, you have borderline personality disorder.
5. Self-harm is a female problem.
6. Self-harm is crazy, sick, and irrational.
7. You must resolve your underlying issues before you can stop self-harm.
8. If you resolve all your underlying issues, your self-harm will go away.

Not long now :)

2012-02-11T22:12:00.000-08:00

Ots not long now until theses two love birds will be getting married and I am dertamined to make it to their wedding no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photo of the day.

2012-02-10T22:12:00.000-08:00

Positive Mental Attitude.

2012-02-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

Source.

Photo of the day.

2012-02-08T22:09:00.000-08:00

Stigma.

2012-02-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

sounce.

Photo of the day.

2012-02-06T14:08:00.000-08:00

Dealing with urges.

2012-02-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

I was doing some research on the internet about different ways people can cope with their urges to self harm and I found this very useful site. Take a look at it here.

I use ome of theses different things to help me cope with my stong urges. The most important thing that I have learned about dealing with my urges to self harm is that it wont hurt to try anything new. If it doesnt work then it doesnt work and try something new. You can be suprised at the things that can help you cope..... I was very reluctant to try some things to help me cope but once I did I realised that they were really useful and they have helped me with my recovery so far.

Photo of the day.

2012-02-04T14:07:00.000-08:00

Its just another hurdle!

2012-02-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

First let me start this post by saying sorry for not posting for a while things have been a bit hetic with starting back to school and going home from the hospital during the week days I have just been really busy so I am sorry for not posting. So yeah things have just been a bit up and down especially over the past few days and I was feeling pretty shit..... I was talking to someone who without even knowing has helped me more than she can imagine through everything that is going on. I know this person for a few years and she has experienced some of the things that I am going through right now and to be honest if it wasnt for her I would have given up a long time ago.

I couldnt understand why bad things kept happening to me and they were always getting me down and this friend said that when things got her down she just thought of it as another hurdle and it was going to make her stronger. I was thinking about this for a while and in the beginning i thought it didnt make any sense and Ishould just give up but after thinking about it I realised that she is right! If you can get over this hurdle then you can get over the next and the next and it is only going to make you stronger. So really the point of this post is to show that it is good to look at the bad things that happen to you as just another hurdle and with the right help you can get past it and become a stronger person for it.

I know some of the things that have been the biggest hurdles for me have made me a much stronger person and while it might not seem that way all the time it really has. People are always going to try and make your life miserable but the important thing is not to let them win. Some people just dont want to see you happy and you have to stand up for yourslef and show them that nothing is going to stop you from being happy and getting back to being the person you were before things in life got really hard for you.

Depression is NOT a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you have been strong for too long. Did you know that 1 in each 3 of us will go through this at some point in our lives? Share the support! Let those who struggle know they're not alone, they are loved.

source.

IMPACT.

2012-01-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

Here is a video involved with the Lets talk campaign.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YOx04Mss6z4?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>iframe>

You are not alone.

2012-01-29T05:53:00.000-08:00


source

Mental illness can affect anybody!

2012-01-21T08:34:00.000-08:00

Even celebrities can suffer from mental illness. It can happen to anybody at anytime but we can all over come our difficulties.

Removing the stigma.

2012-01-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

I found this and thought that it was a great video and decided to share it on my blog.

Why do people SH?

2012-01-16T09:16:00.000-08:00

Many people SH for many different reasons so there is no way that I can write this post telling people all of the reasons as to why people self harm because everybody has their own reasons for doing it. My reasons for self harming in short are because it makes me feel in control of my life and also because it is better than thinking about the bad memories that I have from my past but I do know that SH is not the way to deal with the feelings that I have and you should certainly not SH.

There are many other ways of coping with feelings and emotions that we have and it is really just about finding the thing that works for you. Weather it is talking, exercise, using a stress ball, going out with friends anything is better than self harm because once you start it its very hard to stop because it becomes an addiction and can take a long time to stop.

Think about yourself for a bit now and answer some of these questions.:
What would your life be like if you didnt self harm?
Who is the one person you think can most understand what you are feeling?

These questions have not just randomly;y come out of my head they have come out of a work book that I am using in hospital to help me get to learn more about my self harm and know myself better. The book is called "Stopping the pain" I have found this book very useful so far and i would suggest for other people to use it too.

Keep strong and things will get better.
xx

What do you know about SH?

2012-01-14T06:36:00.000-08:00

Many people dont know a whole lot about self-harm. More people need to begin to talk about self-harm so that people who do SH dont feel like they need to keep it a secret. Im not trying to promote SH or anything like that but I think that people need to become more aware of this and need to be more open and understanding about it so that more people might feel able to come forward and talk about what is going on for them and find ways that they can cope better than using SH.
While I have been learning more about SH I have learned some things that people think about SH that are not true and I think that people need to stop thinking these things and realise that SH can happen to anybody at anytime!
Only a few very sick people SH....This is not true at all. Anybody can SH at anytime in their lives.
Teens who SH are trying to commit suicide.... This is also not true. Many people who SH do it because it is a way of coping. If you self-harm it doesnt mean that you want to die. SH an suicide are two very different things.
People who SH are crazy and should be put in hospitals... NOT TRUE at all believe me if you SH it does not mean that you are crazy so dont let anybody tell you different. If you self harm you are not crazy and you should not be put in hospital, sometimes it might help to be in hospital but just because you self harm it doesnt mean that you have to be in a hospital.
People who self harm are just trying to get attention... this is also not true because many people who self harm keep it a secret and are ashamed of what they have done so they hide it and they dont let people know.

More needs to be done to get rid of the stigma that is attached to self harm and they need to stop think of people who self harm as crazy or mental. Its true that not everybody thinks this way about SH and Im glad that my friend do think of me in this way because they know about my self harm. It is time that we become more open about SH and let people know that they can get help and that they dont need to be ashamed! Things need to begin to change now and I am hoping that my blog might help change some ways that people think about mental health difficulties!

Stay strong and things will get better.
xx

SH doesnt have to be a secret.

2012-01-13T11:40:00.000-08:00

When I first started to self-harm I didn’t tell anybody and take this from someone who knows that keeping it to yourself is not a good idea believe me. You might feel scared, nervous ,ashamed and so many other feelings and emotions when you start to think about telling someone but once you do tell someone you may begin to feel a lot better…. I know I did. Not having to keep it this huge big secret anymore was a huge relief and it was a giant weight taken off my shoulders. Letting someone know can make a huge difference to your life…. You might not think it now but I sure know that if I hadn’t told someone I would not be here writing this post right now today because I would be too busy self-harming.

You might feel that your parents will me mad, disappointed but sometimes you can actually be surprised about how your parents react to things like this. I know that I was surprised by my dad’s reaction when he found out that I was self-harming. Now that he knows I am getting the help that I need and I know that everything that he is doing for me he is doing it so that I can get better.

If you want to tell a parent or a guardian and you don’t know how you could always write a letter or send an email or something like that. You could also tell someone close to you that you trust that can help you get over yourself harming but who can also help you tell your parent or guardian. You don’t have to keep this to yourself you really don’t. It is ok to tell someone and too look for help it really is. You might think that you do not deserve help but you do!

Its ok to tell people and things can get better if you do, you don’t need to do this yourself so don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Stay strong and things will get better.

Self-Harm emergency kit.

2012-01-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

The other day I was doing some work on learning how to cope with my self harm and one of the things I learned that would be useful for me is to make a self harm emergency kit. This kit would have things that you feel that could help you when you are feeling very low and you are struggling with the urges to self harm. This box could be big or small and have as much things or as little things in it that you want. You can even be able to bring it around with you if you feel like it will help you.

The things that I would like to have in my self harm emergency kit are:

Photos of me and my friends.
Photos of my mam and grandad.
Photos of me and my family.
Some nice sented candles.
A stress ball.
A rubber band.
Some soft fabric.
A pen and some paper.

Im sure as I think of it more and more I might add some more things to my list but right now I am happy with all of the things that I can put in my emergebncy kit because I feel that if I was struggling with my urges things like looking at photos might help me to remember some happy times in my life and they would also me a ver good distraction for me to help take my mind off things.

For anybody who is struggling with self harm it would be a good idea to make a self harm emergency kit well at least I think it would be. Im going to be doing a lot more work on things like distraction so if I come across anymore usefull things I will write about them here so they this blog might hopefully act as a resource for someone who is going throught a very diffcult and who is struggling with self har. And rememeber it is nothing to be ashamexd about and you should not be embarrsed to ask for help. Nobody wants to self harm no matter how much they say they do somewhaere deep deep down inside they know that they really need to stop but they just need a bit of help along the way.

If anybody has any sugesstions of things they would like to see here on my blog just send me an email and I will try and write about them and also feel free to send me an email anytime you want to if you feel like having a chat... Im always here if people need me. siobhanbrady4@hotmail.com

And remember stay strong and things will get better.
xx

Mental health.

2012-01-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have written this post before and I have decided to publish it again because it is something that I have experienced in my life and I think it is really important that we begin to talk about it now rather than later. Many people don't like talking about things like self-harm or suicide but we need to talk about these things to help prevent them from happening as much as they are happening now. People also don't like talking about mental health difficulties and they are far more common than you think. I have mental health difficulties myself and I have found that many people don't talk about them and that there is a huge stigma attached to people who have mental health problems. People also have a view of hospitals for people who are mentally ill and I can assure you now that they are not like what you see in the movies..... they are completely different! Right now I don't have time to write a post on mental health but I will get writing it on paper and then when I have time at home on leave or enough time here in the hospital I will type it up and publish it because we need to talk about it and we need to learn that it is nothing to be ashamed about and that a mental illness could happen to anybody and that it is more common than you think! Here is the post that I have written before about self- harm. This is what I now about self-harm and this post is written from having my own experiences knowing different people who have self-harmed. Please take the time to read this and well just remember this can happen to anybody and it is important that if you know someone who is struggling that you reach out to them and show them that you care and that you are there to support them and listen to them!

Self-Harm
What I am going to write about in this post I guess is something that most people know about but nobody talks about it. In this blog post I am going to write about self-harm. As I was writing this blog post I was worried about publishing it to be honest and I don’t really know why. I think it was because I was scared of what people might think and if it might cause people to get upset. I don’t mean for this to be triggering to anybody and I don’t mean for this to upset anybody.
Self harming is the deliberate harm to you. This can be done in many different ways. Some people cut while others burn or scratch. There are many different ways that people self harm but most people who do self harm do it for the same reason, to cope with what is going on in their life at the time. This topic is very close to me because I know of people who have self harmed and the struggle that they go through on a daily basis to try and not self harm. People often think that if you self –harm you are suicidal but that is not true and most people who do self-harm are only looking for a release and no to die. There is often stigmas attached to people who self-harm and many are also judged because they do it and excluded from groups of people.
Many people who have self-harmed in the past are ashamed of it and try to cover up and hid their scares because of fears that the might be judged. Most people keep it a secret until they have had enough and realized that they don't need this anymore and that they can change and that things will get better. Many people who self-harm may also be depressed and can feel ashamed that they are but there is a quote that I think is really important for any one suffering fro depression and it is " depression is not a sign of weakness but a sign that you have been strong for too long" I hope that this quote will comfort some people who struggle from depression.
Most people self harm as a way of relief and expressing their feelings. Many people find it hard to talk about their feeling and eventually it all gets to be too much for them and they take all of their anger and frustration out on themselves. Its certainly not a good way of dealing with things but for some people it is the only way that they know how. Often for people who do self-harm it can turn into an addiction depending on self harming to help get you through the day and to communicate with people how you feel.
The aim of writing this blog post was to help raise awareness about self harm not just in Ireland but all over the world. Many people know about self harm and it is a very important topic and people need to talk about it but I feel that people don’t want to talk about it. I sometimes get the feeling that people are scared to talk about these kind of topics but if we don’t talk about them then we will never be able to move on and provide more help to the people who are struggling from self –harm. Most people who self-harm feel alone and ashamed but they are not alone there are many people all over the world in the same position as they are.
For anybody who is reading this blog post who self harms just remember that you are not alone and that it is never too late to get help. No one chooses to self harm but you can choose to get help. There are many places around Ireland including Pieta house.

Here is another post related to mental health that I have written before. This one is related to depression.
written a post about self-harm before and well now I think it’s time to write one about depression seeing as how often the two topics can be related. In my opinion depression is a lot like self harm in the way that people often don’t like talking about the subject. It seems to be something that you would only talk about if you knew someone who suffers from it or you yourself suffer from it.

I grew up not hearing anything about depression; the only thing that I knew about it was that if you were depressed you were sad. In some ways that’s all you really need to know when you’re growing up because often you wouldn’t find yourself being depressed or even know someone who is depressed. It wasn’t until I entered secondary school where I learned more about depression and that wasn’t even through school that I learned about it. I guess I learned about it from my own experience and it was when I entered third year when I learned what depression really was when I was diagnosed with depression.
To be honest I didn’t think much of it because it wasn’t bad depression and I wasn’t put on medication, it was something I didn’t talk about not even with my dad or brothers, when we were told we all just got on with it and didn’t even think twice. Sure none of my friends even really knew that I had depression either because I tried my best not to let them see me suffering and when I was around them I put on a smile and acted as if everything was ok. I just got on with things after I was told and soon I felt back to my normal self when I was heading into transition year, because I had learned how to deal with things and I was going into Transition year a new Siobhán from the Siobhán I had been during the summer.
I was still getting treatment every week by going to a psychologist and talking about things that had happened in the past and I guess if I wasn’t talking about things every week I would not have been able to cope with things. I didn’t think of myself as being depressed and I think that was because it was only my family knew about it and I was able to deal with it. Now after having a relapse and a very bad one at that only my family and closest friends know about it and well now the world wide web know about it too and I’m hoping that by telling my story it will help to raise awareness about teenage depression.
After this relapse I was put on medication and well I have to say it took some convincing and that’s because I was both scared and also worried about what people will think of me when they found out. The only thing that was going through my mind was if people found out that I was on medication that they would think I was crazy. After someone close to me convinced me that they would help if I gave them time to work and that things will get better I decided that it was worth a shot and then things might start to look up for me.
After I got put on medication I stopped seeing myself as depressed and it was more that I just suffered from depression and it wasn’t a big deal. I may sometimes still try to put a smile on my face so people don’t realise that I’m suffering. It’s not that I’m trying to hide things it’s just that I don’t want to be pitted or looked down on because I’m suffering. I’m not ashamed of suffering from depression and it has taken a bit of time for me to be ok with it and writing this blog post about my experience was a big step for me and I am happy that I have done it and well I don’t mind if people know that I suffer from depression because I’m not ashamed and I will overcome it and things will get better for me.
It’s taken me a while to see the bright side of this because I couldn’t see past the next 5 minutes a couple of weeks ago now I know that things will get better And I am hopeful that I will overcome it and that is mainly because of the people around me who support me and because I want to get better and to show people around me that it is possible. I am determined to get back on the right track and someday I will hopefully be able to look back on my experience and say to myself that I did good and I have come a long way from there and I want to be proud of who I am even if that means I was a teenager who suffered from depression. Hopefully I will be able to go on from here knowing that my teenage years will have moulded me into hopefully the person I want to be.
I hope that this post might help someone who is reading it and suffering from depression. I haven’t got over this and I know that it will take some time but with people around me who love and care for me that things will get better sooner or later. It just takes time and you have to be patient with things. When I’m better I will hopefully be able to write a blog post giving advice about what I found helpful during my treatment and trying to overcome this.

Here is another post that I have written in the past relating to mental health difficulties. This post is relating to suicide and suicide prevention day.

Today is suicide prevention day and well I decided to write a blog post about it. To be honest I’m going to make this a very personal post because well suicide is something that I have dealt with in my life and something such as suicide prevention means a lot to me. I have written a lot of very personal post and well that’s because I am trying to share my story and help people who are going through hard times. I mean if things that I write show people that there is hope and even if you think things aren’t going to get any better they will. I have gone through some hard times and I still kind of am and most of the time I find it hard to see that there is hope and things will get better but with the help of some very close friends I know that things will get better even if I don’t think that things will my friends assure me that they will.

So today is suicide prevention day and well I attempted suicide in 2010 two days before my junior cert started. Many people thought that I did it because of the stress of the exams that I was about to do but it wasn’t, there wear many reasons and if I was to list them I would be here for a while so I’m just going to keep my reasons short. I did it because I felt lonely, isolated, depressed and that there was no point in living. There are many other reasons why I did this some were because of the loss of my mam, my problems with my IBS and yeah the stress of the exams had a part to play in it as well but they weren’t the only reasons. I just didn’t want to lie anymore; I thought people would be happier without me and that if I was to die I would be reunited with my mam.
I went up to my room because I was feeling like crap and took a piece of glass to my arm. I began to cut, I did manage to stop before it got to serious and then my dad found out in a matter of minutes after. I was taken to the hospital, crying, and upset annoyed and angry. I will never forget the look on my dad’s face when I told him that I wanted to die and that I did try and kill myself. I spent a week in the hospital and even done some of my exams there, I was watched by a nurse all day every day and not let out of their sight. When I was allowed go home it was on the grounds that I would be watched at home and that I would also go back to the hospital on a weekly basis to see a psychologist. I was allowed to go back to school but only if I was dropped to school, then collected and I was not allowed to leave the school if my dad was not there to collect me.
The point I am trying to get across here is that no matter how bad you are feeling and how bad things might seem ending your life is not what you want to do. I survived my suicide attempted and I am happy that I am still here. Yeah I might still be struggling with some problems and I find it hard sometimes to see my future but with the help of close friends I know that I want to be here right now. Anything thing that gets me down or upset now I think of it as being a bump in the road but I know once I get over this bump I will be back on track and trying to make things better for myself. If it wasn’t for one very important teacher in my life right now I don’t know where I would be, she helps me to realise that I need to focus on today and once I get through today I can work on getting through tomorrow. Just take things one day at a time. Doesn’t worry about all the stupid things going on around you, I always do that and it always gets me down but I’m slowly learning not to let them get me down.
The most important thing that you can do is talk to someone if you are feeling like you want to end it all. Believe me I have been there and I wish I didn’t try to take my own life but I can’t go back in time and I have to live with the scars for the rest of my life. Talk to anyone, a parent, a friend a sibling or even a teacher. Sure email me at siobhanbrady4@hotmail.com if you need to talk to some who knows what you’re going through.
I know that there is a reason to live. I am still battling against my depression and IBS. I m going to get better, it will take a while and I do sometimes have trouble seeing the future and I do dwell on things that have happened in the past and feel sorry for myself but I am going to get better. There is hope and things will get better just talk to someone. Believe me things will get better.
In honour of all those people who died from suicide light a candle at 8pm tonight and place it near a window.

I know when you are feeling down it can be hard to cope trust me I know. I suffer from depression, anxity, OCD and other mental health diffculties. I know that many people wouldnt announce all of this on the internet for anybody to read but I want to get better, I am trying to get better. I have spent the last six weeks in hospital starting on the road to recovery and I know I still have a long way to go but since I have been here in hospital I have seen people get discharged and it has given me hope that some day I will get discharged and move on with my life. Im not ashamed or scared of telling people these things about me because I want people to know that they are not alone and that there is help out there. By writing this post I am hoping that I will be able to spread the word about mental helth problems and hopefully people might start talking sabout it more and then the stigma might become less and less over time. I know its going to take more than me writing this post for things to change but I think its a start.I know that when I get discharged from hospital things will be better and hopefully I will be able to help raise awarness about things related to mental health. I hope that if you have read this post that you might think about how you view people with mental health diffculties and then ask yourself this one question. If I had a mental health diffcultie would I want people to think of me this way? I hope that this post has made you think!

New Year, New Me!!!

2012-01-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

I know I know everybody says that at the new year things are going to be different and they are going to change and most of the time nothing happens. Well this has been the case with me many times before me and well as I have found myself writing thyis post in hospital I can say that things are going to change for me. It has taken me the past year to let things slip away from me, and now after spending six weeks in hospital and knowing that being discharged is not going to be anytime in the near future and having many conversations with nurses,doctors and very close friends I have learned that it is time that I start to change and I need to start working on getting better. It has taken me a while to realise this and well I am glad that I am finally starting to realise it. I know that the only person that can make me better is me and after today I am going to start working. I know its going to be hard but I know that with the friends and family that I have around me supproting me I can do this and I will do this. I can get better and I will get better!

We all have our bad days and I guess that it is time that I put the bad days behine me and start looking forward to having some good days.So I guess if I have learned anything from the people who are close to me its that they want me to get better and I should want to get better for myself and I am going to get better for myself. It might take some time but I guess its time that I started to think a bit more positivle about things and stop looking on the bad side of life from now on. After all things can only get better from here. As they say Onwards and upwards. I am dertamined to get leave form the hospital during the week hopefully tomorrow and make a new start at my recovery... im putting my bad days behind me and I am going to start hoping for more good days. And if I happen to have a few bad days well I will take them as they come and work throught them. From here I am going to take things one day at a time and make sure I get better for my family, friends and me!

Its time I start looking at the good things that I have in life and stop taking them for granted. After all there is always light at the end of the tunnell and all thought I cant see it right now but there is a good life waiting for me out there and this will soon all be in the past. I will learn from my experiences and I will get better!

Friendship

2011-12-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

Well Siobhan.. I never know what to write. But one thing is, I am happy you let me write posts. :)

So, this year been a roller coaster of a year. I am not gonna be all me, me, me in this. But as I will be posting this on my wall. I don't know who read's this.
All I want to say is thank you to those who've been with me through this whole year of ups and downs. Yes, I know others have difficulties too, maybe alot worse than mine, but I want to say thanks to those who were there for me when I cried, break downs and felt so helpless and lonely.
I've learnt this year, you can always find what you want when you least expect it. When you are at your lowest your friends will be there for you no matter what to help you smile and help you along the way.
Well basically, I wanna dedicate this post to friendships.
It is the most amazing thing anyone could have, its people who see the world through your eyes, understand you for you and never judge on the decisions you make even if they say its the wrong one, they will support you through thick and thin. Friends aren't there for a moment, they are there for life.
Take as many photo's to hold onto those precious memories that make you smile.

'Best-friends stick with you through thick and thin. When you smile best-friends will see when your about to cry, best-friends are there for you through life and more'
I found that somewhere and I loved it ever since :)

Well here's to friendship, and what it means to everyone, with the up's and down's you always have your friends :D

Aoife :D
Xxxx

Random :)

2011-12-27T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas this year has no snow.. :(
Siobhan, well I did write that post in school I have people to prove it and you can go back over the history on the computer I wrote it on :P hahahah I am pretty upset about it I was so proud of myself writing that :(..
But I must apologize that I haven't been writing posts. Christmas is such a busy time of year for me.. I have relations over from France and Luxembourg, so I've been hanging out with them :) It's been an all around good Christmas so far, apart from the exams before it. They weren't so fun, but it's over now just to face the result's in January which I am absolutely dreading.
Enough about exams..
Hmmm I honestly don't know what to say..
It's only a few days left till 2012 :D I cannot wait. I just want this year to end so I can forget all the negative parts and start fresh, have a new positive beginning even if it involves saying to people lets forget last year and just begin this year fresh. Thats all I want.

Anyway I am going to head, I am going to have dinner with the family (8 of us in the house btw with 2 dogs it can be crazy trying to get everyone for dinner when we only see each other at least once a year or 6 months every year)
If I don't write till before the 2011 is over.
Happy New year and Merry Christmas :)

Ginger
xxx

Ha Ha Ginger ...... I thought I would let people know that I am still alive and trying my best to get home soon!!!! :)

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas

2011-12-17T03:10:00.000-08:00

Ok so sorry Ginger I deleted what you wrote on this post because well its not 11 days to Christmas today and your not in religion making poster on a Saturday so I decided that I would write this post. So well its almost Christmas time, I don't like Christmas that much but i8t is still a nice time of the year and I get to spend it with my family. I'm not so sure if I will be getting home from the hospital for a few hours on Christmas day but my family have said that even if I am in hospital they will come and spend the day with me. So far I am the only person on this ward that is unsure weather or not I will be able to go home for Christmas but if I cant I cant and I will just have to make the most of it whatever happens... either way I will be with my family and that is all that really matters.

Next week on the ward we are having a carol service and we are putting on a nativity play and I have been picked to be the mouse and well I don't really have a choice in the matter so I must try and learn my lines..... this is going to go very well but I'm sure it will all be a bit of fun in the end! :) The nurses are getting involved too so it should be good fun and we are all getting parts of different animals in the play. Its a nice play but its a bit different from all of the other Nativity plays I have ever heard of! Mrs L decided that she would make fun of me having to be a mouse in the play but its ok I don't have to dress up or anything so hopefully I wound be making a fool of myself on the day!

So I have been trying to keep up with school work and well its not going to well I just really couldn't be all that bother to do it but I will eventually get stuck into it once I start to feel a bit better. I have a few blog post written up and I will publish the when I get out of hospital because it will take me too long to type them up in here and I don't have a lot of time to use a computer. So yeah I don't have a lot of other news really so I think I'm going to end this post here..... and if I don't get to write again before Christmas I hope everybody has a good Christmas and that Santa is nice to everybody! :)

Junior spiders.

2011-12-13T12:47:00.000-08:00

No I haven't fall on the face of the earth just yet I'm still here. Sorry I haven't been blogging a lot I haven't really been up to it lately with being sick and in hospital but I thought as I had time I would write a quick post. So today Mrs L and three transition year students when to DCU for the junior spider web awards and well they won the award for the best class blog. So I wanted to congratulate them on my blog. Take a look at the Ty blog here. Its amazing and leave a comment congratulating them for all of their hard work and efforts since the start of the year.

I don't know when I will get the chance to write again but hopefully I will get another chance before the end of the week.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-11T12:36:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

So long farewell

2011-12-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

Well the musical is over! :(
I am not happy at all. It was such a great experience, this week has been so crazy on the go all the time. Really late nights and then early morning's for school. Monday night was basically our first proper dress rehearsal, it went really well :) Then Tuesday went better. Then on Wednesday and Thursday we got a standing ovation! It was amazing! All the hard work that we put into it, really paid off. Those last 12 weeks have been spectacular. From the first day the lads coming up to the school, to S.F being told he is as threatening as a Marsh mellow, to the torch scene, kiss scene orchestra practicing with us, the stress over the dancing that is in the musical, to the stress of putting it on stage. It was worth it all.
Thank you to Ms.W and Ms.McG for doing this, they put so much time and effort into getting it perfect it all paid off :))
We all became a unit/family in the space of 12 weeks. Fare play to those who had to travel a distance to get here- Noel and C.H. The other lads we're only down the road is Saleisans hahah. But over the last 2 weeks the lads have been on Work Experience so they all managed for come up to Wolstan's to do rehearsals.
I honestly don't know what else to say about it. Its just been so amazing! And fun! :D

Tonight! I'm doing a show in Lucan! haha I'm going to be recked! With all this going on I haven't even thought of Christmas presents! The show tonight good luck.. Well actually! Break a leg as they say in show biz! haha It'll go amazing! :D

That's it for now. Sorry Siobhan that I haven't been writing! :(
I'll write more tomorrow, till then
Ginger :) xx

Hope!

2011-12-08T13:41:00.000-08:00

So as some of you many know I am in hospital and that's why Ginger has been updating he blog for me because I don't get the chance to use a computer very often but seeing as how tonight I got the chance I thought i would write a quick post just to check in. So im doing good I guess.... not much to tell you all. Im missing school and my friends and stuff but they keep sending me in letters and food so im doing ok. I love the food guys so keep it coming... lol. I have been kind of keeping up with school work and things here but its not going to well but I will catch up eventually!!!! One thing I do know is that I need a name badge because between nurses doctors and teachers they keep calling me all sorts of different names!

The point of this post was because I met this girls here who is getting discharged next week so first things is I wish her all the best when she gets to go home next week and I have to say that I will be lonley in our biologly classes now but I guess I will just have to manage! But she thougth me something while we were in a class together.... she inspired me. We were both asked what did the word "Hope" mean to us and this is what she said it means to her. "Hope is that I can get better and I will get better" When I heard that it really got me thinking and well if she goes by that then eventually she will get better and well I might not be doing as good as I should be right now but since she has said that I have looked at things differently.

I can get better and I will get better!!!

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-08T12:29:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-06T12:26:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-03T02:57:00.000-08:00

Building time!

The sound of Music. :)

2011-12-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

Were getting closer to the opening night of the sound of music performed many St wolsatns and many other secondary schools in the surrounding area I would name the schools but i dont know the names so I cant!!!! I have been working on the promotional team and we have been working on a blog and just two weeks ago we reached 10,000 page views. working on this musical has been an amazing experience and I am so glad that I got involved. Yeah it had been a lot of hard work, A lot of hours spent in school after school and on Saturdays and there has been a lot of photo taking and blogging but it really has been a great experience a tiring experience but a great one. The opening night is on the 5th of December and we have all been working towards this night and I cant wait to see the show on the first night after it has all been put together. Im looking forward to seeing everyone's hard work finally pay off. it is going to be a great show because we have amazing actors, amazing directors, amazing producers, amazing singers and amazing backstage and wardrobe crew. And we have had the most amazing and talented teachers helping out and keeping us on our toes and making sure everything runs smoothly so thanks to you all for all of your hard work!

I will be going to the show every night so I am going to be very tired in school everyday that week but I am going to be at the show doing first aid if it is needed so I am happy to be there giving a hand where I can. I never imagined that after my work experience in the fire brigade I would never use the first aid that I learned. I have to say that becoming qualified in first aid is one of the most rewarding things that I have ever done and I am so glad that I got the chance to do the course that i did.

I am so excited for the show and I cannot wait for the opening night click here to see our blog and leave a comment telling us what you think of it.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-12-01T02:57:00.000-08:00

Hard Work!

2011-11-30T04:43:00.000-08:00

Hard work isimportant. I guess one of the times that i put a lot of hard work and effortinto something was last year in transition year. I put the most work into mini companygreen hero and well all of the hard work really did pay off as we made it allthe way to the national final of the get up and go competition and won a prizein it too.

There are alot of things involved in hard work but what you get out of it is better thanyou think. From putting in hard work into our mini company I grew as aperson... I became more confident, i got better with communication, I gotcloser to old friends, I got closer to new friends, i made new friends, i foundout what I was good at and I got to experience new things.

I have to sayi did not like some parts of mini company and there was a lot of stress and tensionin the group at theism and having to put so much hard work in to achieve ourgoals was stressful and tiring but the outcome was more than what we hoped formwhen we began the project. This isn’t a very long post put the pint of it isthat a bit of hard work can go a long way and so there is no harm in puttingthe work in because you will get something out of it!

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-29T03:02:00.000-08:00

I found Nemo. :)

The dentist!

2011-11-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

Do you likegoing to the dentist? Because i know that I hate going to the dentist.... i amterrified of going to the dentist ever since i was in second year whensomething went wrong and I ended up being in a huge amount of pain! Yeah so i don’tlike going to the dentist... i get nervous anxious and restless when I have togo and when i have to sit in the chair i get even worse and i guess it doesn’thelp that I have to get an operation to fix my jaw which means more time spentgoing to the dentist!!!!!!!!!

But it’s notall that bad i guess... it’s really just the tools and the moulds and well the biggestpart that I hate is the DRILL!!!!!!!!! Even the sound of it sends shivers downmy spine i hate it so much and i never want it near my mouth ever again!!!!!!!!!

How do youfeel about going to the dentist? Are you like me a nervous wreck or is it justanother one of those things that you just do and don’t even think about it?

Whats your biggest fear?

Fears. (mp3)

Mind block

2011-11-27T08:51:00.000-08:00

Today I honestly don't know what to write. I want to be my dogs at the moment, they are all snuggled up in their beds asleep! They look so comfortable.
I've done all my homework, doing this now and I honestly don't know what to do next. I wonder if this happens to bloggers having a mind block? Hmmm.. There is a thought.
Well, I can't wait for dinner. If that can't get any more random!
Oh I've got my english essay done, I did it at 2 am. But its over and done with at least. Now its the fact of hoping if its good enough.
I did get a really nice sleep last night. 1st time in a week! The week I've just had has been so crazy, alot of tears and not alot of sleep. Hopefully things will pick up next week. Going to busy so my mind will be focused on other things rather than other things (if that makes sense).
LMFAO is on the American Music Awards 2011 at the moment and they are doing Sexy and I know it. If any of you's know the video, performing it on stage they are keeping it to a respectable PG 13. Luckily.

Well that's all I have now for today, if I come up with anything later, I will write to you. :)

Ginger :)

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-27T03:03:00.000-08:00

Me and my grandad

Weird things we find out about ourselves :)

2011-11-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

Well today.. So much to talk about.

Hahahaha not really.

Anyway, Kellie, Noel and I on the way home from rehearsals were showing weird things we can do with our hands and stuff, Noel can bend his thumb in weird ways (kind of gross, but cool at the same time :) ) , I can bend my fingers back really far my hand looks like an L (looks pretty weird) and Kellie with her elbows and how they look when the inside of your arm is pointing out (if that makes any sense!). Just a random thing that came up when we were dropping Noel off at the train station after rehearsals today.
Unlike last time we had the weirdest conversation. At least it wasn't bad this time, hopefully we didn't scare Noel away! :P

On that note of rehearsals; Well, the journey is coming to a close end. One week Monday and its all over! :( Its so nice though having something to look forward to, after this I don't know what I'll do! :/ We worked with orchestra today, it sounds and looks amazing! I cannot wait just to see it in full on stage, it'll look amazing!

Just to tell you most of my posts will be about the musical, maybe.

Also today, I do Irish dancing so Friday week I am doing a show in Lucan somewhere, its to fund raise money to go abroad. I think. I'm honestly not sure. We are doing show dances that we've done before we are doing 2 of show dances: Annie and Alice In Wonderland. Then we are doing our Figure Invention (which is a dance we've made up) we also have the little ones doing their invention and show dance, also the adult dance that they did at the All Irelands in Kilarney last June, after ALL of that we are doing step about, I am dreading that because I haven't properly danced basically since last June but before that it was January so my fitness levels are down, I am dreading all the hard work next week in class. My week this week is going to consist of rehearsals Monday to Thursday, and on Wednesday I've got dancing, then Thursday I've got Life-Saving, rest on Friday ( probably do homework) then Saturday I've got dancing at 11 till 1 or 2 then running up to school to do the musical till whatever time then on Sunday in GAA club to do rehearsals again. Its going to be a crazy week, but I am honestly excited, which is weird because I'll be so tired at the end of it. But
ah well what can ya do? I'm just throwing myself into things (not literally) basically to try new things. Ty gave me that bit of experience to try new things and get out my comfort zone. Which I am doing, I honestly never thought I'd be a director. Ever! Its so weird looking at the musical from a different perspective. I'm usually the one being told to learn things and to do things now I'm asking people to one thing instead of another. Although with the cast they are naturally good at acting :) so they don't need to be told alot of things to change, maybe small things or do something a different way but they are naturally good at what they do :)
Well, I don't know what to waffle on about anymore hahahah Noel and I are having mind block.(discussed that on Facebook) . Weird... Haahahahahaha

Well, I'll write again tomorrow! :)
I'm actually starting to like this. Might set one up myself :D
Till then.
Aoife :)
xxx

P.s Here's something random.
My nickname is Ginger, so sometimes I may sign off as Ginger :))

Well hello there :)

2011-11-25T14:40:00.001-08:00

Hey guys,
Well I'm Aoife :), Siobhan already said that she's leaving. (You'll be back soon my dear! :)) So I'm taking over :D hehehe. I honestly promise I will be good, and this is written down so I have to keep to my promise not for the blog but for Siobhan :).
Well today was a very empty day because of alot of students going off to NUIM today. But!!! We got sweeties of Mrs L :) Thanks Mrs!! :D.
I honestly don't know what to write. Even though I did blogs for T.Y. I never know what to write :/ It's honestly a bit worrying. I was left in charge of this, promising to be good.( I will stick to it! ) I just need to figure out what to say.
Hmmmm...
Well.. The musical! :D
Its coming along so well, I'm honestly so happy with it, its been such a journey like some days I didn't want to go to rehearsals because I was tired, or had loads and loads of homework to do but, when your there and everyone is chatting away and having a laugh or messing up lines and doing something funny afterwards it makes the time worth while going. I never been so happy to go to rehearsals, even if it made me so tired at the end of each week! It'll be all worth it in the end. Its just 1 week Monday! In October when rehearsals started you could never see the finish line close by, as there was so much work was involved! Now, well... It was worth the time and effort. Also! How some people travelled to get to the school to rehearse! Some took buses, trains and taxis' to get to us. Its amazing how when they said they'll commit to doing something they really put the time and effort in, even if they are there for only an hour, they make their time worth while by getting stuck into the work and making sure everything is perfect and finding their feet with their character. I love how when the scene starts they just complete change into the character. I don't know how Mrs. W got the actors perfect but she has that thing where she knows who suits what character. Its amazing how they all fit so well with their character. I know I'll keep saying it but its still amazing!
To other news..
Christmas is EXACTLY 1 month away! :D Okay, I know I'm never excited till the week before but this year has gone soo fast! Personally myself, its been the most craziest year ever! I've had my up's and down's with friends and boyfriends! Hahahaha (trust me I have) alot of tears but made me a stronger person and more mature too, even though I will still have those really immature moments (hey! live life to the full I suppose we only live once!) every tear this year was worth it. Whatever knocks you down just pick yourself back up and move on, everything happens for a reason it'll make you stronger in the end it's just a stepping stone of life :)

Well, on that note, I'm going to sign off.
I hope I did well on my first day of blogging :)

Aoife :P xx

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-25T02:54:00.000-08:00

Adios Amigos

2011-11-24T09:33:00.001-08:00

Well this is kind of weird me writing this post..... I guess I never thought that this would happen. So in the morning im going off for a while and wont be able to keep up my blogging but I dont want my blog to die so I am putting Aoife in charge of it. I dont know what I have got my self into but yeah she is going to be updating it for the next while when Im away. I have to post that will be going up and some photos too but I said that all the girls could come together and write post's if they wanted to so hopefully it will end up being a success.

So im off now for a while but feel free to keep emailing me or whatever I might not get back to you if you do but I will eventually. But for now tomorrow is my new beginning. It will be the first day of a long and hard recovery but with all the support that I have and with the people who are in my life I will get through this.

Remember There is always light at the end of the tunnel!

Fire!

2011-11-24T04:21:00.000-08:00

Anotherthing on my list of things to blog about is what if your house caught fire? Whatare the things you would try and save? So I’m just really going to list them inorder of importance to me.

1. A teddy that my mam gave to me beforeshe died.... it was her very first teddy and it means the world to me.

2. My granddads hat.... we use to alwaysmess with it together, i would always hide it on him and wear it when he wasn’tlooking, i got to keep it after he died.

3. My memory and prayer box so that iwill have the most important things in my life still with me no matter what happens.

Lilo..... Our puppy I couldn’t leave here behind..... She is like my shadowand is always with me and i love her to bits.

4. Ginger... our cat well he’s never inour house but if he was i would take him with me!

5. My phone and my ipod!!!!!! So i willhave the internet and i will be able to go on facebook while i watch my houseburn to the ground!

6. My savings so i can buy new clothesafter they all get burnt in the fire and i don’t have to go around without anyclothes.

7. My schoolbag and keys.... so i willbe able to get to my locker in school to get some of my books and while i amwatching my house burn to the ground i can do a bit of study so i don’t fallbehind in my schoolwork...... see I’m a nerd.

I think that’sit really..... I’m not really sure what i would take. What would you take ifthere was a fire?

Biology song!

2011-11-23T09:57:00.000-08:00

I wont fail biology now that I have found this song....

Tropical Island.

2011-11-22T23:18:00.000-08:00

On my list ofthings that I can blog about one of them is to imagine that I a stranded on a tropicalisland with nothing at all but my group of friends and we have to try andfigure out how we are going to survive and get home. Without even thinkingabout it i can tell you that between me and my friends we would end up killingeach other. But anyway I’m going to try and think of all the different waysthat we could get back home from the island.

Ok so I guesswe could just stay there and eat the coconuts of the tress and build a littlehouse out of sticks and we would be grand until someone found us.... but that’snot very likely to happen so the best thing is not to listen to me if we everget stuck on a tropical island because i will say we should just make the mostof it and find a way to live there and build houses and find food. If you askme i think it would be fun kind of like the film Nims Island which I love tobits.

We could build a house like this! :)
(knowing us it wouldn't turn out anything like that but you get the idea)

I guess we couldtry and swim home.... there you have another one of my stupid and usless ideasso again if we get stuck on a an island together remember not to listen to mebecause we will end up dead unless it is my first idea which i think would befun and that we could live a happy life on the island kind of like lost but iknow nothing about that show so i could be wrong.

We couldbuild a boat. Now that is one of my more promising ideas but if i was to buildthe boat it would sink so i think i would just watch the other people build theboat so we all wouldn’t die. Now i have just realised i am forgetting who my friendsare....... Kellie and Ginger would be too busy thinking of ways to get home butgetting sidetracked with their very dirty minds. Emer and Ashling would behaving one of their special moments together either screaming at each other orjumping on top of each other so we would just leave them to it. Aoife would behaving a panic attack hoping that Nathan from the wanted would magically appearand save us all. Louise would be the one who takes control giving us hope thatwe will get home alive. Mandy and Róisin would be trying to use their techskills to build a plane or something to get us home. Niamh and Nezzy would beoff in their own little worlds and well then you have me thinking of all the uselessideas and having fun playing in the sand being very happy where I am even if itmeans I am stranded on an island. And yeah none of the boyfriends are comingbut if they did well they would all be screaming at each other so yeah therenot included in this. But if they were Emmet and Evan would be off together.....Martin would be the lone ranger I think and then John and Darragh well theywould be jealous that Aoife is thinking of Nathan and Emer is off with Ashlingbut i don’t know them very well so i could be very wrong but anyway this isgoing to be a girl’s only island.

To be honesti would just rather stay on the island and go with my idea and well it would befun but I’m sure after a while we will end up killing each other or somethinglike that but i think it would be fun but only really if we had everything thatwe needed like food and stuff but hey we can always pretend that we have foodand other stuff there and it would be as if it is real. So yeah if i ended upon a tropical island with my friends it would not turn out well.

What wouldyou do if this happened to you?

Wheres Nemo?

2011-11-21T10:52:00.000-08:00

How could you not love the film finding nemo!

The person I admire.

2011-11-20T04:24:00.000-08:00

I haven’t beenwriting very much lately and well that’s because I don’t have all that much towrite about and I have been so busy with school and everything but now I have a lot of things to write about and on the top of mylist is the person that I admire. Wellfor me it’s more the people that I admire because I don’t just admire one Iadmire two and those two people are the most important people in my life andwhile they might not be here with me they are still here in spirit.

The two people that I admire are my mam and mygranddad. I’ll start with my mam. She was the most amazing mother anybody couldever wish for and I know people say that about their mothers all the time butmine was something different she was something special. She was a one in a kindand since she died my world has not been the same at all. The reasons as to whyI admire are:

She was thebest mother I could have wished for

She wasstrong.

She was intelligent.

She alwaysdid the right thing;

Her love forher family was true.

She neverlet me down.

She nevergave up.

She foughtagainst cancer for 18 months because she loved her family.

No matter whathappened she was always there for us.

Im not goingto get too much into things because all ready I can feel the tears comingbecause I miss her so much and i think i have had enough tears for one week andbelieve me I had lots. Thanks Aoife and Róisín for staying with me during mymelt down on Friday. Love you guys.

Anyway theseare the reasons that I admire my mam and well they are the same for my granddadbut different. I want to keep writing this post but I can’t, I am typing thistrying to hold back the tears and I know I just know that if i start talking aboutmy granddad now I will flood my bedroom with tears so I am going to stop nowbut here is a picture of me and my granddad and if you look through my blog youwill find some post on my granddad and mam. So for rambling but it’s been along week and I don’t want to have any more tears this week.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-19T03:04:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

Beautiful people.

2011-11-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-16T23:38:00.000-08:00

I stand.

2011-11-15T10:03:00.000-08:00

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-14T10:30:00.000-08:00

People.

2011-11-13T02:41:00.000-08:00

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-12T00:16:00.000-08:00

Silence.

2011-11-11T23:32:00.000-08:00

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-10T00:46:00.000-08:00

Whats impossible?

2011-11-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

Source.

I found this on the internet and I thought that it was a great thing to think off when you feel something is impossible. It reminded me a lot of when I was in Poland and we met with a survivor from one of the concentration camps........ He told us that there were three things that got him out of the camp..... His faith, His community of friends around him and his will to live. That just goes to show that nothing really is impossible.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-08T23:05:00.000-08:00

Tea spoons or table spoons??

2011-11-07T23:21:00.000-08:00

Lets just say when my family gets together it usually ends up in really weird and random conversations...... This being one of them. we were having dinner one Sunday and for dessert we had apple pie with custard. I eat my dessert with a tea spoon and so do Paul and Shane but not Amy. I have always eaten my dessert with a tea spoon I mean it just seems normal, why would you want to eat dessert with a big spoon adn so it would be finished sooner. Dessert is the best part of dinner and a smaller spoon makes it last that little bit longer and it also in my opinion makes it more enjoyable.

Amy told me to write this post so I guess I should put up her side of the argument even ifg I disagree with it completely. Her side was that that tea spoons always fall into the dessert when you leave them on the side of the dist because they are small. This then makes the spoon all sticky and then your hands all sticky. Where as if you use a table spoon your spoon doesn't fall into the dessert but it can do a full 360 turn around the side of the dish.

But if you are careful with your spoon then it is not going to fall into your dessert and it will not get sticky so really this only happens if you are careless but then again in my family it happens all the time. So when your eating dessert do you use a tea spoon like the Brady's or a table spoon like the Carton's?????

The Flintstones.

2011-11-06T02:05:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I use to love watching the Flintstones..... I miss watching them.

The trip of a lifetime.

2011-11-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Can you see two nuns running??? What about a sausage dog? Well I finally made itto Poland and to say I had a great time is a bit of an understatement. The tripwas amazing and well the opening line of this post is just one of the manyfunny things that were said while we were there. I was hoping to post thiswhile I was in Poland but blogger was being annoying and I could not post someof them so I'm just going to write one about the trip as a whole. Well this hasbeen started so many times and now I'm writing it in the plane but I'm sure Iwon't finish it so I will end up finishing it a home but right now so ofit is being written somewhere over some sea. So yeah I have gone off track andwell yeah this post is going to be a bit all over the place but it will makesense eventually.

Day one.
So on the first day we had an early start meeting in the airport at 5 in themorning. I was so excited that I was up since 2 that morning and full of energyand dying to get to Poland. Things went pretty fast and we were soon on theplane and well I was freaking out about taking off but I got over that as soonas we were up in the air. The flight was only 2.30 hours but I became veryrestless and became a messenger passing maths homework between Aoife and Ashlingup and down the plane. But hey it wasn't that bad.When we got to Poland we were off the plane and once we were in our teachergroups we were soon onto the bus. We got to the hotel, settled in and thenheaded out for our walking tour of Krakow. It was really good and the tourguide was lovely. We went to get some lunch, took a while to he past thelanguage barrier in mc Donald's but the will to get food was so strong wewere not going to give up!

After our walking tour we went around the square for a little bit I played with the pigeons and then we went to have a rest in thehotel. Our little walk around the square lasted longer for me Aoife and Ms KB as we were on a mission to buy a cupcake for Ashling for her birthday on Wednesday. But we managed to find a cupcake and made our way back to the hotel after Mr K kindly came back to find us so that we didnt get lost on the way back to the hotel. To tell him where we were Ms KB gave directions which consisted of Can you see a sausage dog? Clearly her directions worked as we managed to make our way back to the hotel after he found us.

After dinner which I thought was really nice we headed off to achurch to go to mass for all saints day. It was so different from the type ofmass we have at home but it was really nice and relaxing. I will write a poston that later to give people an insight into what I thought of how theycelebrate mass. Even though the mass was in polish and I couldn’t understandit, it helped me to relax and it got me thinking about things in life. Aftermass it was time to go back to the hotel and settle for the night. The roomswere small but cosy. I shared with Ashling who scared the life out of me in themiddle of the night when she started talking to herself!!!!! And people thinkthat I am crazy! The first day was one of the best days over there and I wont forget it in a hurry.

Day two.

Well day two was hard to say the least. It started with a trip to theconcentration camp. It was an amazing experience but I was not able go in andout of some of the blocks in Auschwitz but we were told that we didn't have to.Some of the things that I did see though were enough to stick with me foreverand I now have a better understanding of the kind suffering people wentthrough. Free we had our tour of Auschwitz we then went over to the second partof it which was Birkenau. When I seen things it was a lot more like I expectedto see. This was really hard and shocking. Seeing the remains if the gaschambers and where people sleepy was horrible but I am glad that I went to seewhat it was like. When we finished our tour we all gathered back into one groupbetween two of the rooms where the people slept and had a minute silence andlit a candle to remember those who have died there. We had the head girl andthe deputy head girl here to hold the candle and to represent St Wolstans. Itwas very nice and I was glad that we took the time to have a minute silence andpray.

After that it was back to the hotel for dinner and then we were heading to thewater park to well try and cheer us up after the hard emotional day we had andwell I think it worked. It was Ashling’s birthday that day so I think it was nicefor her to go to the waterpark after dinner. After we had our dinner me and Aoife gotcandles and the cupcake we had bought and brought it into the restaurant whilesinging happy birthday. Ashling was embarrassed but I think she liked it. Ittook us a while to find candle and then to get the candles lit but we managedit in the end.

I didn’t get into the water but there was a place that the people who didn'tget in the water could sit and watch them. I know that sounds really bad but itwas it really funny watching Aoife falling into the water. Me and Rebecca werealmost on the floor laughing. And well me and Rebecca also learned about icloudsup in space..... Let’s just say that teachers have weird conversations. But itwas good fun and when we couldn't find he bus when we were finished it led toan even more eventful day especially as I was having a laughing fit and Mr Cthought I was going mad. But then again all the teachers thought that it wasAoife that was hyper and high on coke cola but after a sad day it turned into agood night. But I am never going to forget the things that I seen in theconcentration camp. It was a lifechanging experience that has really made me look at things in life a lotdifferently than I use to.

Day three.

A long and well scary day for me. We went into the salt mines which was funbut I kept getting teased by Mr C who was our group leader he also kept askingme are we there yet? I had never been in a cave before so it was a really cooland new experience for me. We had to walk 378 steps to get down but that was noproblem for me and Aoife because we had been running up and down the starts inschool for practice. You were able to put your hand on the wall of the saltmines and then taste the salt of your hand. It was so wired. I decided againsttasting the walls of the salt mines because well I thought that might be just abit weird.

It was amazing on the inside as wellI can't say all that much about what happened down there because what happensin the salt mines stays in the salt mines. But I learned lots while I was downthen and dint get lots and had a good laugh with the girls and theteachers while we were down there. I got called special at one point so yeahthanks for that. It was also meant to be good for my asthma but I’m not so surethat it did very much for me because well having to go up on a tiny little liftwith nine other people when you’re scared of lifts had me panicking. I wasalmost crying I was so scared. I ran out of the lift as soon as it stopped. Itwas so scary and I never want to have to go in that lift again. But people werehelping to keep me relaxed, the girls, Mr C and the tour guide. I would havebeen much worse if it wasn’t for them. We could hear little children countingas we were going back op so that was kind of relaxing.

After that once I was relaxed I was back to my normal self. I was playingwith the pigeons again after lunch which was really fun. After that we went tothe Jewish museum which was really good and we had a really nice tour guide whoMs KB decided was going to be my boyfriend as when we were back at the hotelthat night me and Ms KB seen him and started talking to him. So I was gettingteased about that too but hey it was all good fun. After we had a tour of the museumwe then got to meet with a survivor of the holocaust At this point I wasn’tfeeling very well but I was still able to sit and listen to what he had to say.After listening to what he had to say I feel different, I mean he has got methinking about so many different things. One of the main things that I tookaway with me from what he talked about was that no matter how bad things getthings can always get better. That is the one main thing that I took out ofthat trip. Have hope and things will get better…… that man had hope and he hadwill to live and strong faith and because of that he is still alive today! I amstill trying to take in everything that I saw and heard while I was on the trip.It really was a very moving trip. I am both physically and emotionallyexhausted from the trip.

After that we had some free time we were kind of allowed to do what wewanted. we could go shopping or stay in the hotel. I chose to stay in the hoteland I sat with Ms KB for a while and we just talked and well I want to saythanks to her for that because I was feeling pretty sick and sad and down butafter I talked to her I felt so much better so thanks Ms KB. After dinner weall went down to the square for about an hour. It was our last night so as youcould imagine we were pretty hyper walking back to the hotel consisted ofsinging songs and piggy backs. It was the best night by far. We were tenallowed to sit on the landing on our floor all of us and talk for a few hours. Aftera while it got to worm and stuff so some of us went to siting other places andtalk. At one point me Ashling Mandy and Louise were doing sit ups in the halloutside our room. But when we were told to go to bed me and Ashling ran intoroom like children not wanting to get into trouble.

Day Four.

Our last day was great fun. It started with a trip to Schindlers factory. Ihave to say it was nothing like I was expecting because I thought I was goingto be seeing the factory and instead we seen a museum abut the Second World Warbut it was still good. After that we then headed to a huge shopping centre forthe rest of the day to go shopping. It was good fun especially near the endwhen we were trying to make our post of the polish flag for Ms KB without herand the other teachers finding out. It was a bit hectic but we managed to pullit off. I’m still trying to figure out why Ashling actually trusted me to buythe paper seeing as we couldn’t find a big Polish flag but she did and to my surpriseI didn’t do it wrong! One the teachers that got lost in the shopping centrewere found it was then time to get on the bus and head for the airport. It wastime to go home. I wanted my own bed and some toast but I also wanted to stayin Poland for a little bit longer.
The airport was great fun….. From playing in toy houses and getting thingsstuck in my eye It was great fun. The journey home on the plane was the bestcraic ever. It was so fun. There was another school from Ireland going home onthe same plane as us they had come on the same plane to Poland with us too. Thetrip to Poland was unforgettable and amazing and I will never forget it!

Sofrom teachers acting like loving caring parents to fitting three people in theshower and losing Aoife in the hotel it was the most amazing trip I have everhad and I will certainly not forget it. I also won’t forget Ashling biting meon the plane on the way home and the amount of times Aoife had me getting onthe floor on the bus or the plane looking for something that she had lost orwhen I was building a fort with Louise in her room and doing exercises in themiddle of the hall. A huge thanks has to be given to all of the teacher whocame with us and put up with us for the four days and took care of us while wewere there making sure we were ok so thanks Ms KB, Mr K, Mr C, Ms Mc H and MsD. I had an amazing time and it was thanks to all of the effort and planningthat you put into making the trip a success. You might think that I have toldyou a lot of what has happened while we were in Poland but I haven’t becausewell What happens on tour stays on tour!

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

Accidentally in Love.

2011-11-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

I found this song in my brothers iTunes the other day and decided that I should pot it to my blog.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-11-02T03:06:00.000-07:00

Time for Poland!!!!!!!

2011-11-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well today is the day that I am heading off to Poland alongwith 39 other students from Woollies and five teachers. It’s 2.30 in themorning and I have to be at the airport for five. I made sure to get up earlyto make sure I wouldn’t forget anything but I’m sure as soon as I get on theplane I will have realised that I have forgotten something. I’m really excitedbut I am also a bit nervous. I am kind of a nervous flyer so god help anybodythat is sitting beside me especially when we are taking off. During the flight I’mok for the most part and landing I’m fine so I’m not the worse person to flywith...... as long as nothing goes wrong on the plane I will be fine.

Well I better go and get some breakfast and make sure that Ihave everything and try wake up my dad to bring me to the airport ( I say hehas forgotten I’m going to Poland today) ad I have to say a long good bye toLilo ad wake Paul up just to annoy him. If the hotel has internet I will blogfrom my iPod but it not I will post about Poland when I get home. Dont worry you will hear all about it.... I have some posts scheduled to be published while Im away like photos and stuff .

Bye!

Here I come Poland.

2011-10-31T00:45:00.000-07:00

It is the day before I am heading off toPoland on a school tour for the next four days. I have been waiting to go onthis trip for the past few months. I am so excited about going I am lookingforward to go and doing everything that there is to do there.

I think thatI have everything packed.... well at least I hope that I do. I bet now in themorning I will be so tired that I get onto the car drive half way to theairport and then realise I have forgot something. More than likely it will bemy passport or my medication or something really important. Hopefully I wont forget anything! I am looking forward to going to the Salt mines.... well apart form the lift to come back up I dont like lifts since me and Paul got stuck in one in Spain one year! Mrs KB was saying thsat the salt mines is really good for people who have asthma so with any luck it might just help mine a bit!

I’m sittingat a window seat with Ashling and Aoife as long as the seats are in threes butif there not I think I am going to be sitting with Louise. To be honest I’m notthat bothered where I sit once I have someone with me that won’t mind mefreaking out about taking off and sometimes flying but I will end up fallingasleep knowing me. I’m going to get lostor something in the airport I bet you. I keep thinking about all of thedifferent things that could go wrong to me before I even got onto the planenever mind all of the things that could go wrong to me while I’m in Poland.

I have neverimagined going to Poland until this trip came up in school last year. After Idid a project on Poland in T.Y I wanted to go and see some of the things that Ilearned about while I was doing my project. It is going to be an amazing tripand I am so excited. For the next four days I am going to have the time of mylife and forget about anything that is going on in my family and just leave allmy troubles in Ireland for fourdays..... Four days to have fun.

Today isHalloween and well I’m heading out with the girls later to have a laugh andwell I’m not really sure what we’re doing all I know is that we are dressing upin Ashling house and after that I am going to follow everybody else. I amdressing up as the joker because I love dressing up as the joker.

Scary stuff.

2011-10-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

Last week I had a pretty scary experience. Well you see Ihave asthma and I have had it now for two or three years but it never reallyaffected me and if it did it only affected me when I was doing sports but notlast week. Last week I had my first asthma attack and as you can guess form thetitle I was pretty scared. It happened after training when I was in school at ameeting about the school trip to Poland and things just slowly started to getbad with my breathing and to be honest if it wasn’t for my dad and my friendsand the two teachers that wanted until I felt well enough to leave the school Iwould have been lost. So thanks to everybody who was there with me last week.

Anyway I managed to make it home but things took anotherturn for the worse and an ambulance to be called and no this was not my firsttime in an ambulance I was in one a few years ago when I fell down a man holeat an athletics competition and had to go to hospital but back to the topic. Soyeah I’m not going into the details but thanks to the kind doctors and nursesand [paramedics I was home within a matter of a few hours and thankfully I didn’thave to say in the hospital. I even got some career advice form the nurse whowas looking after me. Since last week I am being checked up on all the time and my dad barley lets me out of his sight at things like training and in school the girls wount leave me alone but I know its because they care so thansk!

I wrote this post to share with people that it is reallyimportant to live every day to the full, I know it was nothing serious but whenit’s a new experience it’s pretty scary, so I learned something from that experience.Things can change ion a second so make every second count!

And seeing as how the title of this post is scary stuff well its halloween soon and well I get scared very easily. Mr K scared me in LCVP on Friday morning when he was standing at the window to the computer room with a scream mask on.... I got the firght of my life and even cried I was that scared. At lunch I was waiting for someone at the staff room and yet another teacher Ms M scared me while she was wearing a mask. I think it goes without saying that I will scream and cry even if something isnt that scary I blame horro movies for how easily scared I get...... I will never watch the strangers ever again and this time I think that I mean it!!!!!

Photo of the day. :)

2011-10-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

A bit of fun at lunch :)

Imagination.

2011-10-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

“Logic will get you from a-z, imagination will get youeverywhere.”

Albert Einstein.

I saw this quote on the internet and well I really liked it, and it got me thinking about my imagination. I thought that I might share this quote with you to get you thinking about you imagination.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-10-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

My hairdressing skills. :)

In the wrong!

2011-10-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

Ok so here's the deal...... the other week I was searching on the on internet looking for different things to blog about and different blogs that would be interesting to read. I did fine one and I have to say I really do like this one, its fun, informative and you can really relate to it if you are a teenager.

The post that I had here in the first place was from this blog. Yeah I took this post form that blog and to be honest I have now realised that I went about things all the wrong way and I wish I had never taken the post from the blog in the first place. I am writing this post to try and fix my wrong doing of taking a post from someone else blog and putting it up on my blog and not giving them enough credit. I should not have done that and for that I am very sorry. Weather I was to give them credit or not I should not have taken someone else blog post and passed it off as mine!

So I apologize greatly to the writer of High School Humor Blog and I would like to say that I have learned that I should not have taken this post and used it as my own and I will now never do anything like that again. So I am deeply deeply sorry.

Take a look at High School Humor blog as it has many interesting fun posts.

Photo of the day. :)

2011-10-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

My new home. :)

The Past.

2011-10-23T00:04:00.001-07:00

"Ah yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." - The Lion K‎ing

I came across this quote while I was on the internet the other day and it got me thinking about things, Have I learned from my past or do I run from my past. I thought about this for a while all though I really should have been studying but anyway (im going to take a break this weekend like last weekend) Well after thinking for a while I came to the conclusion that I have earned from my past but I am also running from some things that have happened to me in the past. I know that its not good to run from your past but I do and I will stop someday but it will take time. But I have also learned so really important things, like value the ones you love as they will not be around for ever and to enjoy life while you can because it only takes a second for things to change.

This quote got me thinking about things, did it get you thinking about things? Do you run from your past or have you learned from your past?

Photo of the day. :)

2011-10-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

No better way to play twister than outside :)

Im so excited!

2011-10-21T08:23:00.001-07:00

Im so excited for Poland! :)

Photo of the day. :)

2011-10-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

I want to be a clown when I get older... ;)

Why get out of bed?

2011-10-19T11:36:00.001-07:00

I was thinking about different things that I could blog about and well o I turned to my good friend Google and it came up with “Ten reasons why you get out of the bed in the morning” I decided that I would write a post on this because I thought that it would turn out pretty good. But I am only going to do tree reasons because I don’t have a lot of time and trying to think of ten reasons take way to long and I can’t think of ten reasons!

School. Every morning Monday –Friday I get up and out of bed at 6.45 to get ready for school. With most other teenagers they would be complaining about having to get up early and go to school well not me. I love going to school and I am use to getting up early. I like to get up early in the mornings because then I can make the most of my dad. And well school I love going to school. I get to learn new things, have a laugh with my friends, try and annoy teachers and most of all I am happy in school.

Lilo. Lilo is our puppy. I love her to bits it is like we were made for each other. Where ever I go in the house Lilo is sure to be right behind me. She makes me smile and makes me feel like I am needed home. I love her so much she makes me so happy. She is warm and cuddly and great fun to play with.

My friends. I don’t know what I would do without my friends they have got me through some of the hardest times of my life and then have ever left me. The mean everything to me and I would be lost without them. They make me smile and laugh but most of all they make me happy. They like me for who I am and they always have faith in me. I could not ask for better friends than the ones that I have.

These are some of my reasons what are some of the reasons to get out of bed in the morning?

Dont stop me now!

2011-10-18T09:56:00.001-07:00

This song is just for Róisín :)

Busy Busy Busy!

2011-10-17T13:07:00.001-07:00

We had our first meeting about our trip to Poland a couple of weeks back and since then the time has been flying bye it is now only 2 weeks and 2 days until we are heading off to Poland. I have never been more excited about a school trip before. I am not letting anything get in the way of me getting to Poland. I had a little bump in the road a couple of weeks ago we the depression and some other stuff but now I am back on track.. For now I am doing ok and that is all that I can really ask for right now that I keep doing ok. I’m trying not to think of what could happen and rather think of what is happening right now. Like I am keeping busy with school, homework, study, scouts, athletics, the school musical and helping at home and I’m doing ok right now.

I’m looking forward to going to Poland as most of you will all ready know and I will be blogging about it everyday... hopefully the hotel will have internet but If not will just post when I get home. I am planning on Taking millions of pictures as well but that’s nothing unusual for me. I was told something a couple of weeks ago and it was to enjoy life while I am happy and well that’s what I am going to do. If things take a turn for the worst and hopefully they won’t I will be able to look back at when I was happy and enjoying life and it can give me something to look forward to and a goal to help me get past the hard times.

Anyway back to POLAND!!!!!!! Did I ever tell you that I am going to POLAND.....? Well I am and I am very excited. There is a lot to do before we go but it will all get done. I can wait to go it is going to be the most amazing trip ever. Is there a place somewhere around the word that you would love to travel to someday?